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Profile for Alcaro
Name:  Alcaro
Title:  New Item: Fire Extinguisher. Allows you to put the fire out on a baby.
Forum posts:  10776 (3.03 per day) (View)
Forum threads:  288 (37.42 posts per thread)
Since:  2008-03-20 12:27:31 PM (registered for 9 years, 8 months and 29 days)
Last post:  Restricted
Last activity:  2017-12-18 05:35:45 AM (4 hours, 2 minutes and 48 seconds ago)
Files:  View
Submissions:  87 (View)
Location: 40°15'9.4''N 58°26'21.8''E
Local time:  2017-12-18 09:38:33 AM (0 hours from the server)
Groups:  Administrators, Staff, SMW ASM Section Moderators, Darkvayne's Minions
User Bio
Do not contact me about bugs in Asar, LMSW or ZMZ. I no longer maintain those tools. No exceptions. Fix it yourself if it's that important, they're all open source. Reports and feature requests for AlcaRobot, Floating IPS, and those random small tools will be accepted. The ZMZ cores aren't mine, reports will be accepted.

For what you really came here for, click here. Or enjoy this tilde: ~

I am a random Swedish boy, of exactly the right age, no more no less (shut up about updating this one).
I have been here on SMW Central for far too long, and I worked with SMW for a while before that (my first post was asking for help with ASM).
While I have no problem with advanced ASM, with experiences ranging from making levels with only xkas to replacing Mario with another character, my favourite programming language is C++ (translation for non-technical people: I can and do make tools). I also have some experience with HTML, CSS, PHP, JavaScript and x86 assembly.
I tend to be quite contrary, ignoring and contradicting most social norms I don't understand or agree with. For example, floating Munchers were quite impopular a while ago, so I immediately embraced them.

I also like the numbers 42, 735, 41433505, 16722, 3838, 1686 and 845 (sorted by which I like the most; each one means something, but they're not related to each other).

My favourite games, in order:
Jumper 2 (platformer)
Medieval Cop (adventure/puzzle/humor; the only one here that's not stupidly hard)
Bullet Heaven (bullet hell)
Jumper 1/Redux (platformer)
Super Meat Boy (platformer)
Epic Boss Fighter 2 (bullet hell)

I have a heart of darkness, filled with regret, anger at the world, and sadness how the universe is merciless.

The universe is cruel, and that makes me want to get revenge on the universe and everything in it for 0% harmony. I would bring absolute peace to the world where no negativity can happen and everything is happy. Would that not be the kind of world you people would want?

Every time I miss out on something I want or become sad or angry, I turn to my dark side, who always rambles about the universe and merciless life. Whenever I sink into deep pessimism, you'll never look at me the same way again...

I try to give life a chance. I really do. However, it is too evil for me to even come out of my house. But there's no safe place from everything bad in the universe. No matter what you do, or where you are, death awaits you.

I wish I was never born. Someday, the universe will pay for all the horrid things it is has done to humanity and other extraterrestrial life in the universe.

I do not fit in with the other people. I am much different from them.

Anything can trigger the dark side of me, from your average every-day problems to natural disasters to the destruction of the world.

This is the first time I have revealed my dark side. You guys ought to get used to this. As for the creeped out, it is not my decision to tell you guys to be creeped out. That is not how it works. You must feel the emotion yourself without a seal of approval.

And with that, I fade into darkness...

Because the file bin is pretty limited, I made a Greasemonkey script that allows you to upload and delete multiple files at once, and to sort the files by type.
Note that it's only tested in Firefox with the default scheme; anything else may mess up in various ways.

If you've got any tool requests, or ASM requests I find interesting (the rules for what's interesting are unknown even to me, though I seem to prefer debugging stuff), send them to me and I'll see what I can do. Note that the most common result is that I don't find it interesting, and you get only a few RAM addresses and code snippets, with me expecting you to put it together by yourself. [last updated Jan 1, 1970; may no longer be valid]

Reasons why ZSNES' emulation core should be avoided
(still looking for a list for why TRASM sucks - I think someone said it assumes 8bit mode for all opcodes, but I haven't verified this.)

Comparison of ZSNES' interface with Snes9x:
(+ means ZSNES does it better; - means Snes9x does it better.)
+ Savestate manager, with previews and stuff
+ Rewind system (update: apparently Snes9x >= 1.54 has that too)
+ Snow (this is the biggest one)
+ Hotkeys are customizable (most of them, at least)
- Draws all widgets by itself, instead of looking like the rest of the computer (some see this as an advantage, that looking like a 20 year old program adds to the charm when you're playing 20 year old games; I don't)
- When the mouse enters the ZSNES window, it's moved to where it was when it left
- The mouse has a different speed when on top of ZSNES
- Defaults to BMP for screenshots, with PNG as a non-default choice (Snes9x supports only PNG)
± Savestates are accessed through a slot selection system, instead of one key per slot. Which is better is a matter of opinion; Snes9x's key-per-slot setup makes it easier to access multiple slots, while ZSNES' slot selector uses fewer keys, and allows for more slots without becoming unwieldy.

bsnes 0.70 vs Snes9x (+ for bsnes, - for Snes9x):
+ Has rewinds (update: apparently Snes9x >= 1.54 has that too)
+ Puts SRAM/etc beside the ROM, not beside the emulator (applies only to Snes9x >= 1.52, older Snes9x are sane)
+ Hotkeys are customizable (most of them, at least)
+ Offers both Snes9x-style mapped savestates, and ZSNES-style slotted savestates
- Only three mapped savestate slots are mappable to hotkeys. Not sure how many slotted ones.
- Disables all input if holding Ctrl/Alt/Shift (hard to do otherwise if Shift+F1 shouldn't trigger F1 and hotkeys are mappable, but not impossible)

higan vs anything else:
Infinite minus for copying the ROMs to a subdirectory of my home directory, and placing everything relevant nearby. Close enough to impossible to know whether there's any SRAM nearby, as well as being annoying to delete the SRAM from.
Another infinite minus for demanding a custom .so file in a directory only writable by root; without that, it refuses to load ROMs in the standard formats.
For those reasons, I refuse to use it long enough to make a proper judgement. Actually, that probably is a judgement.

I haven't used RetroArch enough to make a judgement, either; it seems intended to be used fullscreen and with a controller. I don't have a controller, and I prefer my things to be windowed. I believe it's intended for more dedicated gamers; casuals like me are better served by something else.

List of xkas v0.06 bugs I know of (please PM me if you know of any other bugs):
  • !x = xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : !x = xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx overflows a buffer and crashes.
  • xkas replaces every instance of the % operator with 0b, ignoring that % is the modulos operator as well. Luckily, that operator is rarely needed.
  • Despite this, db 0b10101010 is an unknown label.
  • PEA Label doesn't work. This made PER $0006 more common than needed for a while, but these days, PEA.w Label is the standard replacement.
  • !x = $19 : LDA !x refuses to assemble. Splitting it to two lines solves it.
  • DEC $1234-1,x is treated as DEC.l, which doesn't exist.
  • LDA Label is always treated as LDA.l, even if the label is in the same bank.
  • TSB $7FC0FC (and other opcodes, for example INC) is treated as TSB.w. No error, of course; you won't notice until your patch suddenly disobeys the ASM file.
  • REP 0 assembles the instruction after it once, not never. A workaround is REP -1, or any other negative number.
  • Garbage in table files doesn't print any errors; instead, it gives various very strange results. "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" is ignored, and "Awesome garbage 'n' shit=42 FLYING HIPPOTAMUSES" acts like "A=42". To make it even stranger, every eighth digit is OR'd together, so "A=8100000018" acts like "A=99".
  • level10:!Freeram = $13E6 defines a label containing invalid characters. No error is printed (until the label is referenced).
  • .derp: defines another inaccessible label. No error is printed.
  • 12PlayerStim: is also inaccessible.
  • LDA.B #$42 refuses to assemble. The .b is case sensitive.
  • incsrc thisfiledoesntexist.asm crashes after printing its error.
  • The documentation mentions that only 512 incsrc's may be inside each other. This is fully acceptable, but the truth is less acceptable: Only 512 incsrc's may exist at all. Anything above that makes xkas crash.
  • Including the same file twice kills xkas for some crappy reason. (You can work around it by refering to aliases, like incsrc 1/../include.asm : incsrc 2/../include.asm : incsrc 3/../include.asm.)
  • Misplaced #s are ignored annoyingly much - LDA $#01 is treated as LDA $01 for some crappy reason.
  • Misplaced []s are also ignored; LDA [$00],x is LDA $00,x.
  • Not even LDA $[1#2] is rejected! (What it becomes is left as an exercise for the reader.)
  • If you call a macro before it's defined, and this macro contains a label (example), xkas crashes. I have no idea why.
  • db 1 is treated as 1, and db -1 is treated as -1, as expected. However, db --1 is treated as -1, db ---1 is treated as 1, and db ----1 is treated as -1.
  • print "%i" is treated as print "0". print "%.8X" prints 00000000. print "%n" crashes.
  • xkas throws "Invalid command." errors if it sees the string ", " in a quoted macro argument for some silly reason (example).
  • db 1/0 will, rather predictably, crash.
  • Less predictably, incgin data/gfx.bin (typo intentional) calls the math parser, doesn't find the label "gfx" (or "gfx.bin" or "gfxbin", not sure), defaults to 0, divides by it, and explodes.
  • If you use a math statement ending with an operator, for example db 4+, xkas pretends there's a 0 there.
  • The same applies at the start: Begin with an operator, get an invisible zero. You can even use db * if you want to confuse people. (db - gets interpreted as a label access.)
  • The math parser is FAR too forgiving. db @#$%^&*() prints no error; instead, I think it's interpreted as 0^0&0*0. (! and _ are undefined defines and labels.)
  • Using 128 math operators in the same string crashes xkas. This can give interesting results. (You're not going to run into this one unless you're looking for it, though.)
  • Making xkas print an error message longer than 16384 characters is another crash.
  • !a = aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa : !a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a, with the : replaced with a linebreak, doesn't expand all the defines.
  • db $42, (with the comma) returns 42 2A; other blank strings will return other seemingly random values.
  • dcb "INIT" prints "invalid opcode or command [dcb "INIT"]", as expected. But it also prints "label [INIT] not found [dcb "INIT"]".
  • If an opcode argument is not a single number, the size guesser decides to use the maximum size possible; for example, LDA 2+2 is LDA.l. Doubly annoying when the argument is prefixed with #.

Awesome IRC/whatever quote archive:
Disclaimers and rules:
These items are what I personally found funny at any given moment. They may or may not be funny to you, and may or may not be funny to me the next week (for example, if it's a copypasta meme, it gets unfunny very quickly).
Do not suggest quotes for inclusion; I decide that.
If you don't want to be included here, tell me and I'll anonymize it.
The AnonymousAnimals are assigned depending on user behaviour in the given quote, or randomly. They have no relationship to who posted it. The mapping is constant within each quote, but not between them.


Originally posted by Locke_Lock
We thank you for Alcaro.
We thank you for forgiving his sins.
We thank you for opening the gate to Heaven with open arms.
Thank you God for everything.

And,you cannot curse me.I hate I was innocent but a one curse me!If you have NOT anything say I have wrong! give you a say:SHUT UP

i not hve an idea?!?!?! delete "This patch is not intended for this rom" this makes me rage?!?

<Shreep> And that's how you use nuclear weaponry to make the perfect cup of tea

<My brother> My sheets do not have the consistency of quicksand.

<VitorVilela> I muncher the muncher version
<VitorVilela> I prefer the muncher version*

<Impetus> Impetus impeccably impresses impressinable imperials impulsively, imperviously impleading imposing impostors, impossibly improving impromptu implementations, implicitly implicating implosions.

<PatPatPat> hi Alcaro
<PatPatPat> you should tell people to be funnier
<PatPatPat> the rate of quotes entering your bio is too low

<Sixcorby> so when does [irrelevant]
<Eternity> Soon™
<Alcaro> kieransoon aka at never probably
<SNN> is a kieransoon like a monsoon that wants to wipe out a third world country, but gets lazy and starts buying up anime at the last second?
<Alcaro> sounds about right

<Boometh> Nani the fuck did anata just say to watashi?

<DiscoTheBat> Anyone else to invite?
<anonimzwx> maybe huflungdy
<anonimzwx> huduflu
<anonimzwx> hufludu
<anonimzwx> that guy with weird name
<Jack> <anonimzwx> that guy with weird name
<Jack> You have no right to talk whatsoever
<anonimzwx> XD

* dreamer has joined #smwc
<dreamer> well
<dreamer> just think about it
<Buu> ok im thinking
<Buu> what am i thinking about
<dreamer> i dont know
<dreamer> keep doing that
<dreamer> just think
<Buu> gotcha
<dreamer> uh yea

<Name removed> buu is the one that made smwcp byuu is the one that made zsnes
<Name removed> different things
<Name removed> um bsnes
<Alcaro> nice try

<Name removed> Oh gosh, my fingers still smell of octopus. Weirdest breakfast ever

<Luigi370> 5 symptoms of being lazy:
<Luigi370> 1.

<Jack> !ar trout Alcaro
* AlcaRobot whacks Alcaro around a bit with a large herring
<Alcaro> aaa
<Alcaro> halp
* Alcaro has quit (Quit: z)
<Jack> !ar fish You can run, but you can't hide
<AlcaRobot> That user does not appear to be registered to NickServ. If this is intentional, add a -f before the nick.
<Jack> !ar Alcaro fish You can run, but you can't hide
<Jack> ...
<Jack> !ar fish Alcaro You can run, but you can't hide
<AlcaRobot> Your fish has set sail.
<Jack> well, good thing he wasn't around to see that
<AlcaRobot> <Alcaro> !ar fish jack nice try, you're going in my quote section for that. and I claim victory for today.
<Jack> Yooouuuuu
<Jack> Stop spying on me though your bot and face me like a bot.
<Jack> ... that sounded more awesome in my head

<MercuryPenny> !ar phrase
<AlcaRobot> three asleep twelve distant
<Shree> Okay whatever !ar phase gives me I have to use in a proper sentence
<Shree> Self challenge
<Shree> !ar phase
<Shree> ....
<Alcaro> hahahaha
<MercuryPenny> o w n e d
<Shree> You win this time AlcaRobot
<AlcaRobot> *beep*
(the shitty response was from !ar vile)

<Greeny> i would take a picture of alcaro's metal butt
<Greeny> imagine alcaro's butt texture on this silver star

<Gregor> alcaro you're not a robot
<Gregor> if you were you'd THIS STATEMENT IS FALSE
<Alcaro> beep
* Alcaro has kicked Gregor from #serioushax (segmentation fault)

<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne #office op plz
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne kk thx <3
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne don't do it its a trap
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne do do it the impetus is a lie
<Impetus> !ar fish lightvayne no Prizm is a lieing liar who lies about lies.
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne impetus is a foolish fool who aims to fool
<Impetus> !ar fish lightvayne Prizm is a rude thief who is stealing my memes
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne impetus is a salty little brit who would go great with some chips
<Falconpunch> !ar fish Lightvayne Prizm and Impetus are little immature brats who are trying to make themselves feel superior for no real reason
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne yeah well fp can't even do kindergarten math
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne so i wouldnt count his opinion as valid
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne you should still get around getting me op tho <3
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne just ban everyone in smwc right now and get it over with c8
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne do that, but then proceed to unban everyone but one salty little brit
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne then ban Prizm again, because he is backseat moderating and not as cool as I am.
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne jesus im not even reaing these fishes and i can smell the salt
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne Prizm keeps talking about salt, obviously because he is dehydrated and needs to drink lots of water.
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne that literally doesn't even make sense
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne Prizm is Zoidberg btw.
<TRS> !ar fish Lightvayne hi
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne more lies from a salty fool
<TRS> !ar fish Lightvayne Welcome to #Lightvayne | Official Lightvayne Channel

<DerpyBackslide> linux is the only OS not run by imperial storm troopers

<robertozampari> I'm talking with an idiot who can't comunicate

<Medic> !ar Raidenthequick 15A0
<Medic> ...
<AlcaRobot> Unknown command.
<Alcaro> wat

* KindOne has quit (Quit: Hiring PHP developers does not contribute to the quota of employees with disabilities.)

<Alcaro> how dare you attempt to determine how much alcaro i am
<Lightvayne> you are only |---------------| this much Alcaro

<Xyspade> dangit alcaro you can't put irc quotes in your bio in which you made the funny part

<Jack> Hello Lightvaynes... presuming there are more of you
<K3fka> a fake lightvayne would of course claim to be the real one
<K3fka> therefore you are fake
<Lightvayne> Fffffffffffff
* Lightvayne is now known as Kieran
<Kieran> Foiled again
<Hinalyte> 10/10
* Kieran is now known as Lightvayne

<p4plus2> Not tired p4plus2 surprises tired p4plus2 by doing things that tired p4plus2 doesn't know not tired p4plus2 can actually do.
<p4plus2> Sometimes its the other way around, but usually not tired p4plus2 just hates tired p4plus2.

<AnonymousWalrus> i have to move soon
<p4plus2> I know moving is hard Walrus, so start with waving your hand, then move on to standing up
<p4plus2> its a problem we all face at some point when returning from the digital world
<p4plus2> good luck I know its hard!

* Kaisaan has joined #smwc
<Kaisaan> hi
<ShadowStarX> Hi, Kaisaan! You're welcome.

<ShadowStarX> Kieran Menor is dead. Kieran Menor It is not active for 4 days because Kieran Minor is without work.


<Sayuri> Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. But everything changed when the MarioBros980 attacked. Only the Moderator, master of all four elements, could ban him. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. One hundred years have passed, and my brother and I discovered a new Moderator - an airbender named Alcaro. Although he has a lot to learn before he can save anyone, I believe he can save the world.
<Alcaro> good enough

* Jefferson has joined
<Jefferson> KILL
<Jefferson> UNBAN AT NEVER
* Jefferson has quit (Quit: Leaving)

<Name removed> i find it generates the least amount of ocnfusion
<Name removed> *confusion
<Name removed> dammit

<Name removed> tildes are diarrhea dripping out of a dying skunk's genitals

<Greeny> irc is just multiplayer notepad
<Gregor> ok
<Gregor> smwc is just a waffle iron with a phone attached to it

<My brother> like a cheap budget variant of herpes

<AnonymousNyanCat> whats up maaaaaate
<AnonymousWombat> the a to z ratio
<AnonymousWombat> but ill rectify that within the next hour or so

<Counterfeit> >life of alcaro
<Counterfeit> >be a shaymin sitting at a computer desk
<Counterfeit> >owner comes by with watering pot
<Counterfeit> >pours water on alcaro
<Counterfeit> >ch-ch-ch-chia
<Counterfeit> >alcaro gets fuckin huge
<Counterfeit> >becomes an asm god

* PKstarship wants a small loan of 100,000 cheeseburgers

(after AlcaRobot was rude)
<Alcaro> why is this thing so damn buggy
<MercuryPenny> idk it's your bot
<PKstarship> Alcaro is pretty buggy too
<PKstarship> Saying "This cheese sandwich is a disgusting nazi piece of turds" makes Alcaro have to do a full reboot
* Alcaro has quit (Quit: z)

<SF|008> muncher: JSR muncher ;Stack munchers until something breaks

<Ersanio> wish life was that easy, solve sudoku attain immortality
<Ersanio> >_> <_<

<FL4SHK> Alcaro is the father of AlcaRobot

<Jack> <Alcaro> [irrelevant]
<Jack> quoted for truth?
<Alcaro> beep
<MrDeePay> !ar b
<AlcaRobot> *beep*
<Jack> d- dammit... I don't know who's the real one anymore
<LX5> none is real
<LX5> the real one is in our hearts
<Alcaro> beep~
<Jack> I see... Alcaro was the first AlcaRobot, it went nuts, killed the real one and took his place, then created a new bot so nobody suspects anything
<Jack> how could nobody notice this?
<Jack> look, it even responds to emotional talk with nothing but a beep
<Alcaro> beep beep beep
* Jack sends ping of death
* Alcaro has quit (Quit: z)

<SF|008> "Do not stand directly under the bats, they may go to the toilet without warning" ~ sign

<Impetus> toodlepip


<Sixcorby> one small typo can completely charge the meaning of a sentence

<Zekrom> Carets are a disgusting crime against the english language btw
<erga|cell> ^
* Zekrom has kicked erga|cell from #9‚000 (gross)

<Adam> alcaro i'd literally need to read einsteins theory of relativity in a monotone voice for you to even smirk
<Medic> no alcaro is easily entertained
<Medic> floating muncher unban at never robots beep Cx

<Zekrom> It's getting to the point now where I'm mad at Trump just for disgracing the pixels on my tablet screen when he shows up on it

<Jack> <Alcaro> beep.
<Jack> I've come to the believe that Alcaro actually just curses a lot and coded an automatic censor for his IRC client
<Alcaro> beep beep
<Alcaro> fuk u
<Hinalyte> "fuk u" is the only one not censored because it's the best swear
<Jack> being the smart guy he is, he included a way to bypass it to prove people wrong in case he's ever found out
<Alcaro> beep.

<Name removed> only on #9,000 do people accuse each other of writing hitler smut

<Magi> "Uh... no,"

<Medic> i did it alcaro
<Medic> i downloaded a premade python bot and because python isnt elitist linux bullshit it works

<Ersanio> i wonder how Alcaro even brushes his teeth, does he apply, I dunno, carwax to his robotic teeth? :D

<Jack> lion, if I could care any less, I'd probably ascend to the rank of a high priest in zen-Buddhism

<Zekrom> Did he turn into robo shaymin tho
<Yoshiatom> I think this is better without context
<Alcaro> context is worse than carets, right zekrom?
<Zekrom> Yes
<Zekrom> which is why I always watch the last episode of a show first
<Zekrom> same when I read books
<Alcaro> on that note, some guy said I'm taller than Jesus.
<Zekrom> Snape kills Frodo

<p4plus2> ..what other ASM is needed for a vanilla hack

* Topic for #9‚000 is: i'm not racist. racism is a crime, and crime is for niggers

<Name removed> stop the nazis
<Name removed> save the quantum cat

<LucasRCD> """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
<Hinalyte> that's a quote!
<Hinalyte> and alcaro's bio eats quotes

<Name removed> My hitler shouldn't be shaken

<TRS> super mecha walrus

<LDA> I'm drooling all over myself and my head is on my desk because I can't eat my headphones
<LDA> wait that made no sense

* robertozampari has joined #smwc
<robertozampari> Good night
<Alcaro> bye roberto
<Chillah> Hi, Alcaro
<robertozampari> I can't say hello, because of the certain staff member
<Kaisaan> you just did

<FL4SHK> this is a nice wall of text I guess
* FL4SHK waves to the wall of text
<FL4SHK> I am the Donald Trump of rambling on IRC

<Name removed> alcaro is a joint account used by the entirety of isis

<Zekrom> I named my file on Majora's Mask "B-baka" so everyone who refers to Link by name sounds like a tsundere high school girl

<Name removed> Are there any single homosexuals in this chat? I need a BF. Can't get the ladies, so I decided to go the homo way instead.

<Veck> can alcaro's ass lift mjolnir?

<Name removed> Alcaro is a robot shaymin muncherlord with tildes on his back instead of leaves

<Nalyte> tfw saying "walrus" is a free pass to alcaro's bio

<Shree> Is America really in a "Pick your poison" position?
<Shree> I mean, there has to be an alternative to Orange Hitler and Dolores Umbridge?


<My mom> So what you're saying is... to cook pasta, you first clone the bacon then replace it with pasta?

<FlamingRok> tow trucks can't go up trees

<Face> Donald Trump looks like he's wearing a Donald Trump costume

<My brother> Samurai are high ranking members of the Catholic Church

<Eevee> inb4 <Alcaro> Attack helicopter attack helicopter attack helicopter

<Pinci> spanish is such a pleb language

<MercuryPenny> ZSNES is a torture device created in the mid-to-late 1990s to be the most inhumane method of inducing suffering known to man. Unfortunately, some brilliant mind decided to market it as a Super Nintendo emulator.

<NotTFASMGuy> basic reading ability is needed to read this sentence

<shibboleet> so I just googled "faggot to pound" to make a joke but then after I hit enter I noticed what i just typed

<Face> Guys imagine mayonnaise on pizza


* Magi has quit (Quit: z)
* idol has quit (Quit: ajax IRC Client)
* Ersanio has quit (Input/output error)
* PablosCorner has quit (Quit: Connection closed for inactivity)
* AFKWiggler has quit (Quit: ajax IRC Client)
<Face> Pffft, quitters ^

<Ruberjig> Alcarobot is a top secret robot designed by Nintendo. But was scrapped after the SNES finished marketing. They hid it somewhere top secret but it was Ersanio a smw hacking founder who took him home. He didn't have a name for him but he loved Alcaro. So he named it after himself...

<MARIOWORLD> alcabot is the cloned alcaro, while the real alcaro is forced to avoid fixing asar, zmz, and other stuff while being tied to a chair with duct tape so he cant speak or cry to his boyfriend for help tbh

<Shree> How the fuck do you fart a Ç

<Zekrom> I wish I could fish a kick to Samario

<AlcaRobot> Sonikku_, time for give a cannibal a balloon day.

<VitorVilela> !ar loldead
<AlcaRobot> Last activity was 67 minutes ago by Mirann. (<Mirann> stalker)

<TBASMGuy> alcaro is actually an alien in disguise which is actually a human in disguise with 2 kids stacked on each other and those kids are actually an ant in disguise and that ant is an ant's guts in disguise CONFIRMED

<Erik557> is alcaro a giant tilde walrus robot thing

<Shree> Do you realize
<Shree> That somewhere
<Shree> In a tiny remote island
<Shree> A coconut may be thinking about you
<Shree> Just, slowly watching the seas breeze by, thinking
<Shree> "God fucking damn I'm a coconut how the hell am I able to think"
<Shree> "Also Alcaro"
<Shree> :3
<Alcaro> 10/10

<leod> just put body{display: none;} in your layout
<leod> and the sites gone
<leod> permanently for you, till a mod removes it for everyone else

<Lightvayne> !ar loldead
<AlcaRobot> Last activity was 21 hours ago by Falconpunch. (<Falconpunch> perhaps now everyone can help instead of just...waiting.)
<Alcaro> apparently not

<Lightvayne> Kieran is so lazy he stuck his nose out the window to let the wind blow it.

<MARIOWORLD> guys floating munchers are secretly floating on tile 1f0
<MARIOWORLD> new discovery

<Claus> if I ever find myself struggling with web design I'll just look at some smwc user layouts
<Claus> and raise my self esteem

<Name removed> Serious question, what is a spam?

<Zekrom> merc is actually two tildes in a human costume

<shibboleet> hello and i am a shibbo, i rise every 884934 chat messages to have one single spectacular shitpost, and here it is
<Zekrom> If I post again will you go away

<Eevee> hey cuties
<Alcaro> how about me :<
<Erik557> hey cactus
<Alcaro> good enough

<Eevee> alcaro
<Eevee> >implying you aren't a super adorable kawaii anime princess
<Eevee> smh
<Alcaro> rude, i'm male
<Eevee> >implying you aren't a super adorable kawaii anime prince
<Alcaro> wow, you're a persistent one
<Eevee> yes

<Wavee> i thought the #smwc being overrun by 5 year olds was supposed to be fixed a long time ago
<Nameless> it did get fixed
<Nameless> now they're 6 LOL

<Hinalyte> everyone is lazy
<Hinalyte> we're following kieran
<Hinalyte> .
<Mirann> i'm too lazy to disagree
<Maxo> ^

<Name removed> which one of us did 9/11 again

<Name removed> chickens can hover whenever by pressing L+R and A as a walrus

<Name removed> btw robots did the walrus holocaust xd

<My brother> How can this cucumber be so fast?

<Erik557> !ar trans sv- is there something that makes sense on this language
<AlcaRobot> There is something that makes sense on this language

<Hinalyte> alcaro best walrus
<Hinalyte> .

* Shree telepathically does an Alcaro
<Alcaro> floating muncher beep unban at never
<Shree> floating beep muncher unban walrus
<Shree> ...
<Alcaro> that too
<Shree> I guess I know you better than I thought

<Erik557> im
<MercuryPenny> no im
<Erik557> well you can be  but im

<blm> chemistry is just programming atoms

<Apt> @Ersanio the site has become a living jpeg

<Alcaro> a good shitpost is built on top of at least three layers of sarcasm so it's impossible to know if it's shit, good, or anything else
<Alcaro> if anyone (including the author) knows whether it's good and/or shit, it's not a good shitpost
<Wii2> Wow, who knew there was a deep, philosophical meaning to Shitposts...
<Alcaro> except my description is also a shitpost. have fun figuring out if it's true, contradicts itself, or both
<Wii2> Does this mean all shitposters are philosophical people, or that every shitpost is a paradox? ...Or am I just overcomplicating stuff?
<Alcaro> yes yes and yes

<leod> quote THIS
<leod> hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

<Hinalyte> 🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧 this is the army of penguins 🐧🐧, born to take down any walrus!! send to 10 ppl or your walruses are no longer safe 🐧🐧

<Impetus> its not necrophilia if you reanimate the body with necromancy

<LucasRCD> Alcaro is Cthulhu in disguise
<LucasRCD> Just picture Cthulhu in a walrus suit and a little tophat
<LucasRCD> That's Alcaro
<Alcaro> 100% accurate

<Kieran> dear sir or madam
<Kieran> you were blessed with a keyboard
<Kieran> use it

<My brother> Underscore: The Anime (Starring Muncher as Muncher)

<Ragey> vertical levels are the zsnes of smw

<p4plus2> !ar 4am anyways sleep time
(the real command is !ar 4m)

<> Hi I'm the real Ersanio. Two weeks ago I was kidnapped and have been impersonated by someone else. The authorities busted the kidnappers and I'm messaging from an internet cafe in turkey right now.

<Eevee> i can't wait till a fucking 10 year old appears at alcaro's house and tries to kill him with a fidget spinner
<Alcaro> i'll kill him back with a fly swatter
<Medic> alcaro would die
<Gloomy> he'd run the antivirus instead of calling the cops
<Gloomy> so yea he'd die
<Alcaro> beep.

<Name removed> The higher powers of this internet-based room for conversations prefer to dress themselves as members of the opposite sex and are very unpleasant

<DragonDePlatino> If i want runtime performance, I go with C/C++. If I need to write it quick, I go with Python. If I need some amorphous language that is neither quick to write nor quick to run I will slip in the bathtub then decide to use Java.

<AnonymousKoala> im still being sent questions
<AnonymousWalrus> koala what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
<AnonymousKoala> not fast enough to destroy the holograms that the government put up to fake 9/11

<Alcaro> [irrelevant], which automatically gives you +50 shitposter points
<DrTapeworm> how many points does actually throwing shit at people in real life give you
<Gloomy> that's shittossing not shitposting
<Alcaro> depends on what you aim for
<Gloomy> now, if you actually posted shit into the mail then ye, that'd be 500 shitposter points
<Alcaro> if you aim for the signpost, I'm gonna count it as shitposting
<Alcaro> that too
* Alcaro emails needsmorejpeged cow feces to gloomy
* Gloomy emails a Windows 95 CD to Alcaro
<Gloomy> :]
<Alcaro> neat, free viruses

<gbreeze> new custom block! Use this to reverse the gravity in your hack. Folder comes with 3 uberasm patches, level_asm code, 3 blocks, 2 sprites, a custom patch, a word document that explains the block in 3000 words or less, a jpeg image created in Ms Paint that shows where to place the blocks without crashing the rom, a new version of asar, 6 custom songs, lunar magic 1.0 and windows 7

<ThePat545> have you been living under a dwayne johnson

<PKstarship> humans are like deluxe monkeys

<Erik> EEVEE
<Eevee> take it to the car wash
<Erik> ah alright thanks

<Hobz> the only thing i love more than mario is being right on the internet

<blm> zsnes users are the flatearthers of emulation

<Karlton> donald trump's hair for president

<Qwoll> AH, lets sing something else
<ThePat545> never gonna give you up
<Alcaro> for once i agree with qwoll
<Alcaro> okay i no longer do

<MayGuy> u walk into drex's house and the first thing u see is him jacking off in front of his computer to 256 different sprites of questionably drawn anime babes rotating at different speeds
<ThePat545> the plot twist is that he's getting off from the number 256 and not the anime girls

<My brother> Finnish is just Danish in Japanese

(talking about music)
<VitorVilela> 3/4 > 6/8
<VitorVilela> that's a fact
<Alcaro> 3/4 = 6/8 = 0.75 and I will never figure out what your russian math means.
<Jimmy52905> music = russian math?
<Jimmy52905> sure why not
<Alcaro> it's crazy therefore it's russian
<Alcaro> completely logical

<LucasRCD> I need someone to make me a tutorial on how to kidnap an ASM god
<LucasRCD> Is one of the steps selling my soul to Kieran and praying to Alcaro every night?

<idol> h
<Hinalyte> h
<Eevee> h
<Archie> h
<Alcaro> ħ
<Noivern> h
<lx5> h
<Tyty> h
<Erik> h
<leod> h
<nameless> h
<Alcaro> #staff: quality conversation
<Hinalyte> excuse me, this conversation is at top quality
<Archie> excuse me, this conversation is at top quality
<nameless> excuse me, this conversation is at top quality
<Noivern> excuse me, this conversation is at top quality
<FPzero> h
<Eevee> excuse me, this quality is at top conversation
<Nimono> h

<My brother> "The sky outside was a great black ceiling, which was full of blood."

<Eevee> your timezone is ugly
<Eevee> i hope it dies
<Eevee> and then causes a rift in time and space
<Eevee> then destroys the universe

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Originally posted by Sample quote

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<blm> zsnes users are the flatearthers of emulation

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