Views: 506,811,997
Time: 2017-02-23 12:48:57 PM
14 users online: o Dan, Grugi, Impetus, JackTheSpades, o Koopster, leod, MasterSkodwarde, PuzzelBreaker, Rameau's Nephew, S.U, o Sinc-X, TheBiob, ThePat545, yoshiatom - Guests: 33 - Bots: 219Users: 30,797 (1,337 active)
Latest: WhoNeedsAUsername
Tip: Ask the author for permission before ripping graphics from their hack.Not logged in.
Profile for Alcaro
Name:  Alcaro
Title:  Bulldozer has now a higher damage tolerance, and is more evil
Forum posts:  10317 (3.16 per day) (View)
Forum threads:  271 (38.07 posts per thread)
Since:  2008-03-20 12:27:31 PM (registered for 8 years, 11 months and 5 days)
Last post:  Restricted
Last activity:  2017-02-23 12:13:13 PM (35 minutes and 44 seconds ago)
Files:  View
Submissions:  87 (+2 awaiting moderation) (View)
Location: 40°15'9.4''N 58°26'21.8''E
Local time:  2017-02-23 12:48:57 PM (0 hours from the server)
Groups:  Staff, ASP Members, SMW ASM Section Moderators, SMW ROM and RAM Map Moderators, Darkvayne's Minions
User Bio
Do not contact me about bugs in Asar, LMSW or ZMZ. I no longer maintain those tools. No exceptions. Fix it yourself if it's that important, they're all open source. Reports and feature requests for AlcaRobot, Floating IPS, and those random small tools will be accepted. ZMZ cores aren't mine, reports will be accepted.

For what you really came here for, click here. Or enjoy this tilde: ~

I am a random Swedish boy, of exactly the right age, no more no less.
I have been here on SMW Central for far too long, and I worked with SMW for a while before that (my first post was asking for help with ASM).
While I have no problem with advanced ASM, with experiences ranging from making levels with only xkas to replacing Mario with another character, my favourite programming language is C++ (translation for non-technical people: I can and do make tools). I also have some experience with HTML, CSS, PHP, JavaScript and x86 assembly.
I'm not the most normal user around here. My standard answer for "How's it going?" is "Define "it"", or similar nonsense, and if I see two things at once, I usually respond to the least relevant of them. Additionally, my favourite SMW character is the Muncher, especially the floating variety.

I also like the numbers 42, 735, 41433505, 16722, 3838, 1686 and 845 (sorted by which I like the most). Each one means something, but do not necessarily have any relation to each other.

My favourite games, in order:
Jumper 2 (platformer)
Bullet Heaven (bullet hell)
Medieval Cop (adventure/puzzle; the only one here that's not stupidly hard)
Super Meat Boy (platformer)
Jumper 1/Redux (platformer)
Epic Boss Fighter 2 (bullet hell)

I have a heart of darkness, filled with regret, anger at the world, and sadness how the universe is merciless.

The universe is cruel, and that makes me want to get revenge on the universe and everything in it for 0% harmony. I would bring absolute peace to the world where no negativity can happen and everything is happy. Would that not be the kind of world you people would want?

Every time I miss out on something I want or become sad or angry, I turn to my dark side, who always rambles about the universe and merciless life. Whenever I sink into deep pessimism, you'll never look at me the same way again...

I try to give life a chance. I really do. However, it is too evil for me to even come out of my house. But there's no safe place from everything bad in the universe. No matter what you do, or where you are, death awaits you.

I wish I was never born. Someday, the universe will pay for all the horrid things it is has done to humanity and other extraterrestrial life in the universe.

I do not fit in with the other people. I am much different from them.

Anything can trigger the dark side of me, from your average every-day problems to natural disasters to the destruction of the world.

This is the first time I have revealed my dark side. You guys ought to get used to this. As for the creeped out, it is not my decision to tell you guys to be creeped out. That is not how it works. You must feel the emotion yourself without a seal of approval.

And with that, I fade into darkness...

Because the file bin is pretty limited, I made a Greasemonkey script that allows you to upload and delete multiple files at once, and to sort the files by type.
Note that it's only tested in Firefox with the default scheme; anything else may mess up in various ways.

If you've got any tool requests, or ASM requests I find interesting (the rules for what's interesting are unknown even to me, though I seem to prefer debugging stuff), send them to me and I'll see what I can do. Note that the most common result is that I don't find it interesting, and you get only a few RAM addresses and code snippets, with me expecting you to put it together by yourself. [last updated Jan 1, 1970; may no longer be valid]

Games to play this month or tomorrow: Meat || Evo, Fortune, La, Raid || Win, Portal, Polarity

Reasons why ZSNES' emulation core should be avoided
(still looking for a list for why TRASM sucks - I think someone said it assumes 8bit mode for all opcodes, but I haven't verified this.)

Comparison of ZSNES' interface with Snes9x:
(+ means ZSNES does it better; - means Snes9x does it better.)
+ Savestate manager, with previews and stuff
+ Rewind system (update: apparently Snes9x >= 1.54 has that too)
+ Snow (this is the biggest one)
+ Hotkeys are customizable (most of them, at least)
- Draws all widgets by itself, instead of looking like the rest of the computer (some see this as an advantage, that looking like a 20 year old program adds to the charm when you're playing 20 year old games; I don't)
- When the mouse enters the ZSNES window, it's moved to where it was when it left
- The mouse has a different speed when on top of ZSNES
- Defaults to BMP for screenshots, with PNG as a non-default choice (Snes9x supports only PNG)
± Savestates are accessed through a slot selection system, instead of one key per slot. Which is better is a matter of opinion; Snes9x's key-per-slot setup makes it easier to access multiple slots, while ZSNES' slot selector uses fewer keys, and allows for more slots without becoming unwieldy.

bsnes 0.70 vs Snes9x (+ for bsnes, - for Snes9x):
+ Has rewinds (update: apparently Snes9x >= 1.54 has that too)
+ Puts SRAM/etc beside the ROM, not beside the emulator (applies only to Snes9x >= 1.52, older Snes9x are sane)
+ Hotkeys are customizable (most of them, at least)
+ Offers both Snes9x-style mapped savestates, and ZSNES-style slotted savestates
- Only three mapped savestate slots are mappable to hotkeys. Not sure how many slotted ones.
- Disables all input if holding Ctrl/Alt/Shift (hard to do otherwise if Shift+F1 shouldn't trigger F1 and hotkeys are mappable, but not impossible)

higan vs anything else:
Infinite minus for copying the ROMs to a subdirectory of my home directory, and placing everything relevant nearby. Close enough to impossible to know whether there's any SRAM nearby, as well as being annoying to delete the SRAM from.
Another infinite minus for demanding a custom .so file in a directory only writable by root; without that, it refuses to load ROMs in the standard formats.
For those reasons, I refuse to use it long enough to make a proper judgement. Actually, that probably is a judgement.

I haven't used RetroArch enough to make a judgement, either; it seems intended to be used fullscreen and with a controller. I don't have a controller, and I prefer my things to be windowed. I believe it's intended for more dedicated gamers; casuals like me are better served by something else.

List of xkas v0.06 bugs I know of (please PM me if you know of any other bugs):
  • !x = xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : !x = xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx overflows a buffer and crashes.
  • xkas replaces every instance of the % operator with 0b, ignoring that % is the modulos operator as well. Luckily, that operator is rarely needed.
  • Despite this, db 0b10101010 is an unknown label.
  • PEA Label doesn't work. This made PER $0006 more common than needed for a while, but these days, PEA.w Label is the standard replacement.
  • !x = $19 : LDA !x refuses to assemble. Splitting it to two lines solves it.
  • DEC $1234-1,x is treated as DEC.l, which doesn't exist.
  • LDA Label is always treated as LDA.l, even if the label is in the same bank.
  • TSB $7FC0FC (and other opcodes, for example INC) is treated as TSB.w. No error, of course; you won't notice until your patch suddenly disobeys the ASM file.
  • REP 0 assembles the instruction after it once, not never. A workaround is REP -1, or any other negative number.
  • Garbage in table files doesn't print any errors; instead, it gives various very strange results. "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" is ignored, and "Awesome garbage 'n' shit=42 FLYING HIPPOTAMUSES" acts like "A=42". To make it even stranger, every eighth digit is OR'd together, so "A=8100000018" acts like "A=99".
  • level10:!Freeram = $13E6 defines a label containing invalid characters. No error is printed (until the label is referenced).
  • .derp: defines another inaccessible label. No error is printed.
  • 12PlayerStim: is also inaccessible.
  • LDA.B #$42 refuses to assemble. The .b is case sensitive.
  • incsrc thisfiledoesntexist.asm crashes after printing its error.
  • The documentation mentions that only 512 incsrc's may be inside each other. This is fully acceptable, but the truth is less acceptable: Only 512 incsrc's may exist at all. Anything above that makes xkas crash.
  • Including the same file twice kills xkas for some crappy reason. (You can work around it by refering to aliases, like incsrc 1/../include.asm : incsrc 2/../include.asm : incsrc 3/../include.asm.)
  • Misplaced #s are ignored annoyingly much - LDA $#01 is treated as LDA $01 for some crappy reason.
  • Misplaced []s are also ignored; LDA [$00],x is LDA $00,x.
  • Not even LDA $[1#2] is rejected! (What it becomes is left as an exercise for the reader.)
  • If you call a macro before it's defined, and this macro contains a label (example), xkas crashes. I have no idea why.
  • db 1 is treated as 1, and db -1 is treated as -1, as expected. However, db --1 is treated as -1, db ---1 is treated as 1, and db ----1 is treated as -1.
  • print "%i" is treated as print "0". print "%.8X" prints 00000000. print "%n" crashes.
  • xkas throws "Invalid command." errors if it sees the string ", " in a quoted macro argument for some silly reason (example).
  • db 1/0 will, rather predictably, crash.
  • Less predictably, incgin data/gfx.bin (typo intentional) calls the math parser, doesn't find the label "gfx" (or "gfx.bin" or "gfxbin", not sure), defaults to 0, divides by it, and explodes.
  • If you use a math statement ending with an operator, for example db 4+, xkas pretends there's a 0 there.
  • The same applies at the start: Begin with an operator, get an invisible zero. You can even use db * if you want to confuse people. (db - gets interpreted as a label access.)
  • The math parser is FAR too forgiving. db @#$%^&*() prints no error; instead, I think it's interpreted as 0^0&0*0. (! and _ are undefined defines and labels.)
  • Using 128 math operators in the same string crashes xkas. This can give interesting results. (You're not going to run into this one unless you're looking for it, though.)
  • Making xkas print an error message longer than 16384 characters is another crash.
  • !a = aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa : !a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a!a, with the : replaced with a linebreak, doesn't expand all the defines.
  • db $42, (with the comma) returns 42 2A; other blank strings will return other seemingly random values.
  • dcb "INIT" prints "invalid opcode or command [dcb "INIT"]", as expected. But it also prints "label [INIT] not found [dcb "INIT"]".
  • If an opcode argument is not a single number, the size guesser decides to use the maximum size possible; for example, LDA 2+2 is LDA.l. Doubly annoying when the argument is prefixed with #.

Awesome IRC/whatever quote archive:
Disclaimers and rules:
These items are what I personally found funny at any given moment. They may or may not be funny to you, and may or may not be funny to me the next week (for example, if it's a copypasta meme, it gets unfunny very quickly).
Do not suggest quotes for inclusion; I decide that.
If you don't want to be included here, tell me and I'll anonymize it.
The AnonymousAnimals are assigned depending on user behaviour in the given quote, or randomly. They have no relationship to who posted it. The mapping is constant within each quote, but not between them.


Originally posted by guy
here is what's about to happen, I'm gonna punch you so hard in the cleft of your chin and send you flying through the air at such a velocity that your skin will fry like bacon and your muscles will explode. From there it's pretty gross, so it's better that I don't describe it and just get to the punching

Originally posted by thread titled "if you had a remote control to freeze everything except you"
I would use it to freeze time at the exact moment that Alcaro's girlfriend is about to kiss him. Then I swoop in and unfreeze time.

Just so I can say this line:

You thought you were kissing Alcaro... but it was me, Davros!

Originally posted by Torchkas
Short hacks are like a box of two cherries.
Long hacks are like a box of five cherries with added remains of sawdust.

One of them will make you longing for more.
The other will leave you with the sense that a pigeon has been roosting in your mouth.

Originally posted by guy
this is like death race except you can replace busted machines

Originally posted by guy
[size=4]Could Kipernal be god?[/size]

Originally posted by guy
i know how to make a sprite.i want to know how to make them from scratch
also,what is scratch?

Originally posted by guy
According to my Evil-O-Meter, this forum is approximately 51 giganazis.

We need more evil.

Originally posted by guy
Also, I love that a FreeBSD review thread has turned into an ethical discussion about cartoon porn by page 2. Stay classy, bboard.

Originally posted by guy
I'm not allowed to spread information vertically.

<p4plus2> slower than an infinite loop
<p4plus2> louder than an atomic square wave
<p4plus2> buggier than virus virtual machine aquarium
<p4plus2> Its just a bad case, of jimmy code
* Alcaro sets mode +v p4plus2

<PatPatPat> "My computer is actually a hamster-powered potato and I don't give a shit and want to play this game" you zsnes

<Name removed> 1. A GNUbot may not sue the Free Software Foundation or, through inaction, allow a the Free Software Foundation to be sued.
<Name removed> 2. A GNUbot must obey the orders given it by the Free Software Foundation, except where such orders would conflict with the First Freedom.
<Name removed> 3. A GNUbot must protect its own project as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Freedoms.

<Name removed> >a game where the objective is to NOT cause 9/11
<Name removed> i'm offended
<Name removed> 9/11 should always be the goal

<Alcaro> oh, I'm just taking over the world, one channel at the time
<Jack> so your usual Tuesday morning for you?
<Alcaro> yeah, pretty much

<Sixcorby> you're l8 mirann
<Mirann> w
<Alcaro> sixcorby: only 18? He feels older.
<Mirann> he said late
<Mirann> but hey i'm actually 18
<Jack> l and 1 are totally different, what are you talking about
[ten minutes later]
<sincx> jack:
<sincx> l is the 12th letter of our alphabet
<sincx> the alphabet is used to form words
<sincx> the word "words" returns 1,810,000,000 results on Google
<sincx> 1,810,000,000 can be written as 1.81 x 10^9
<sincx> 10^9 contains nine zeros
<sincx> cats have nine lives
<sincx> cats have four legs
<sincx> 4 is a perfect square
<sincx> the diagonal of a square measures sqrt(2(s^2))
<sincx> 2(s^2) can be written as s^2 + s^2
<sincx> addition is a basic mathematical function
<sincx> mathematics is generally taught in classrooms
<sincx> classrooms often have windows
<sincx> 1+1=window
<sincx> window-1=1
<sincx> therefore l=1
<Alcaro> uuuh I'll just assume that makes sense.
<Jack> the fact alone that you spend 10 minutes just to come up with a ridicilus comeback for me means I won

(In #9‚000 (yes, that channel exists))
<MercuryPenny> Are you tired of people tricking you into parting all channels?
<MercuryPenny> Worry no more! With our new Unicode(tm) technology, you can fool them good!
<Alcaro> yes sir
<MercuryPenny> (Warning: may not actually function as intended. May cause diabetes, cancer, heart attacks and bonitis. You are at higher risk of developing blood clots when using unicode.)

<AnonymousFerret> God damn it AnonymousDuck.
<AnonymousFerret> "Developer Accused Of Unreadable Code Refuses To Comment"

<Alcaro> yeah imamelia, that is the bitter truth of software design
<Alcaro> people far too often don't read the manuals
<imamelia> Okay, next time, instead of it screwing up levels, I'll just have it detect if any level has a goal tape, and if so, make every overworld tile teleport you to a level that's like level 105 except with a glitched background and "RTFM!" spelled out in floating munchers.

<AnonymousKoala> V:
<AnonymousBeaver> YOUR MOM IS :V
<AnonymousBeaver> AND A NAZI :V AT THAT

<Name removed> i'm pissed off for some reason
<Name removed> but i forget what that reason is
<Name removed> so i guess i'll just stop being pissed

<UmlautBanana> devann stop making greentext green

<Kieran> wish me luck
<Name removed> have fun
<Kieran> fuck you

<Greeny> can i have voice
* Xyspade sets modes [#9,000 -o Greeny]
* Xyspade sets modes [#9,000 +v Greeny]

<Greeny> pls do something about it in 48 hours or else i will reregged and you will go down

<Name removed> Alcaro you're so fat, even 200 LDAs can't load you

<Greeny> Lightvayne what time is it where you are
<Lightvayne> &;30pm

<SF|008> Kieran, your vulpix harem pissed on the server again

<MandL27> merc, gotta give you this
<MandL27> you are at least not as stupid as (name removed)
<MercuryPenny> that's like saying a movie is "the best romantic comedy with a character named "Glorgtuub Murkilab" as its main character"


<dax> work faster
* VitorVilela has quit (Quit: zzz)

<AnonymousDolphin> AnonymousChameleon, also, out of curiosity, do you know who I am?
<AnonymousFrog> AnonymousDolphin is a person :P
<AnonymousOtter> Dolphin is that guy who does stuff.
<AnonymousDolphin> i wouldn't go that far
<AnonymousOtter> good point

<HuFlungDu> p4plus2, are you in?
<Alcaro> no, I ate him
<HuFlungDu> p4plus2, are you in Alcaro?
<p4plus2> here enough I suppose

<AlphaTech_DJ> Alcaro: My dog didn't like your song
<AlphaTech_DJ> He started barking

<AbsentThirdEye> !ar timemsg 10m Stop being lazy and do something you worthless multicellular organism
<AlcaRobot> Message queued.

<AnonymousAnteater> Once upon a time there was a new user who was named AnonymousFerret. Ferret on IRC. One day he was permenently banned. The next day, another user named AnonymousTurtle took the ban and manupulated it into an integer, leaving the lovely couple stranded in Ohio. The nand.

<Jack> !ar trout Alcaro
* AlcaRobot whacks Jack around a bit with a large clownfish
<Jack> so you betray me after all you swedish pile of scraped computer parts

<Jefferson> Alcaro, you would like to learn ASM? I think.
<Jefferson> Here I thought to create multiple ASMers.

<AnonymousDingo> just accidentally killed myself
<AnonymousGrizzly> did you rape satan to get out
<AnonymousGrizzly> of hell
<AnonymousGrizzly> i had to do that 8 times because nazi stalinist cults kept murdering me with toothpicks

<Name removed> well - everybody has different rules for what constitutes a Hitler
<Name removed> he does have the funny accent
<Name removed> there is that
<Name removed> I don’t think a penguin makes for a good swastika though

<Nimono> the muncher is not a rollercoaster

* MandL27 has changed the topic to: where do powerabusers take vacations to? Albania!

<Kieran> [18:44:45] Jefferson: Kieran are cute! :3
<Kieran> kill me now

<Lightvayne> AAAAAA
<Lightvayne> I was really hoping for the fart kill

<Sixcorby> idk °C we use °F over here
<Alcaro> ew
<Sixcorby> what do you mean ew
<Sixcorby> you don't like measuring temperature in °Fuck?
<Alcaro> not really

* MrRean bounces violently on Alcaro's bed
<Ruberjig> his bed is full of munchers
* MrRean bounces violently on Alcaro's refrigerator
<Alcaro> don't do that, some of the stuff I put there is explosive.
* MrRean continues
* Alcaro has kicked MrRean from #smwc (BOOM)
* MrRean has joined #smwc
<Alcaro> you owe me a new fridge
* MrRean bounces violently on Alcaro
* Alcaro omnomnoms
* MrRean bounces violently on Alcaro's refrigerator explosion
* Alcaro attaches 2-ton weight to rean
* MrRean bounces violently on the 2-ton weight
<Ruberjig> im trying to picture all this
<Ruberjig> its hard
* MrRean bounces violently on Ruberjig's picture
<Alcaro> ruberjig: makes about as much sense as I guess
* MrRean bounces on jet fuel on fire
* MrRean bounces very violently on Kieran's computer
* MrRean bounces violently on Alcaro's candle lab
* MrRean bounces violently on the air

<Smallhacker> (I am legally required to warn that Uncle Smallhacker is not allowed around kids below 15)
<Smallhacker> Anyway
<Smallhacker> When I was a kid and my first baby tooth was about to fall out
<Smallhacker> there was one day where it was particularly loose
<Smallhacker> and I realized that it could come out at any moment
<Smallhacker> but being a kid, I still didn't know how things worked
<Smallhacker> so I walked around most of the day holding the lid of some board game under my head to catch the tooth if it were to fall out
<Smallhacker> because my parents had told me about how I could get a coin from the tooth fairy
<Smallhacker> so, my parents were making mashed potatoes that day
<Smallhacker> and offered me a raw potato, which I accepted and ate
<Smallhacker> When the potato was gone, so was my tooth.
<Smallhacker> I cried
<Smallhacker> no, instead my parents gave me twice what the tooth fairy would have given me

<MercuryPenny> weeblord420
* MandL27 is now known as Ho-oh
* Ho-oh sets MercuryPenny on fire
* MercuryPenny cracks mandl's skull open like an egg and douses the fire with his brains
* VitorVilela has quit (Ping timeout: 244 seconds)
<Ho-oh> congrats merc
<Ho-oh> you're so disgusting you scared vitor off

<Nimono> that's because This is not That, kieran
<Nimono> you should try That instead
<Nimono> might work better for you
<greeny> what

<Name removed> i will defeat you and your neonazi propaganda

<MrRean> yep yep, this accurate unpacker percentage
<MrRean> 0% > 54% > 99% > -39% > -192% > 599% > 100% > done

<Name removed> One person said he was a wolfkin, and during work at a supermarket, he snarled and growled at the customers. He was then fired, and he complained about discrimination.
<Name removed> Buddy, you didn't get fired for being "part wolf", you got fired because you scared the customers

<Name removed> so im at college
<Name removed> ive come to the painful realization that
<Name removed> ive forgotten how to walk up stairs

<Name removed> alcaro's fetishes: kicking people from IRC channels, accurate emulators, XOR gates, breaking the laws of robotics, plaintext passwords, XJ-9

<PatPatPat> I'll show you how to create an explosive using only a rubber band, an empty roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite


<Lightvayne> !ar catch FL4SHK hi! Long time no see. How life? Get married yet? When do you plan on retiring? Can I have a piece of cake please? Also is 2 your favorite color? Have a Good day???

<Hinalyte> !ar timemsg 4h10m dancing toilets
<AlcaRobot> Message queued.

<Jack> Also, I now have a mental image of a computer trying to listen to classes while some bored guy is trying to play solitaire on it

<Lightvayne> !ar last k3fka
<Lightvayne> ...
<Medic> gf
<Lightvayne> you didnt see that
(AlcaRobot isn't in that channel)

* VitorVilela divides Lightvayne by zero again
* Lightvayne implodes
* Lightvayne multiplies VitorVilela by the mathematical equivalent of the meaning of life and subtracts the result by the circumference of your head.


<UmlautBanana> Alcaro
<UmlautBanana> there is a file on my computer called Alcaro is a Bad Mod.txt
<UmlautBanana> it's an empty file
<UmlautBanana> and i have no idea what it is/was

<Shree-san> I wish there was a noob who'd ask why a boo block isnt in the Blocks menu

<AnonymousOtter> anyone know some physic-related chan
<AnonymousOrangutan> Otter: #snakeoil #gullible #scam

<Name removed> Of course you can also argue that a potato is 90% coconut milk, if you like arguing for the sake of arguing despite being wrong.

<Shree-san> That would look bloody disgusting tho
<Shree-san> People goal sign grass
<Shree-san> *people
<Shree-san> **people
<Shree-san> ***purple

<Ersanio> i watched SNN play wordpad.
<Ersanio> it was very exciting

* Yoshiatom is brpken

<Medic> it's easy to sound like you alcaro
<Medic> just use the words "sufficient" and "likely" and "beep"
<ergazoobi> <Alcaro> eXcavator you will likely be banned if you do not admit that zsnes is insufficient beep
<ergazoobi> Actual alcaro quote
* ChanServ sets modes [#smwc +v ergazoobi]

<GiantShyGuy> !ar buffer
<Alcaro> deleting that just to piss off the bot tomorrow.
<PatPatPat> ..?
<Alcaro> the bot autodeletes buffer posts after 24 hours, he'll be sad if he can't.
<PatPatPat> o
<GiantShyGuy> ...I am now kinda scared of you, Alcarobot, and your relationship with it
<Alcaro> success
<Impetus> Alcaro is actually the robot
<Alcaro> one by one, they will all fear the robot overlords
<Impetus> AlcaRobot is the original Alcaro
<Impetus> imprisoned in a basement
<Impetus> he gets shocked if he doesn't respond to commands quickly
<Impetus> whenever the bot lags its because the original alcaro is tired
<Impetus> deleting posts reminds him of his old days before the robot took over
<Impetus> which is why the user now known as Alcaro is deleting them
<Impetus> thats all 100% true, I read it in Encyclopædia Britannica
<PatPatPat> Then it's probably wrong; you need the Encyclopædia Swedica

<MercuryPenny> !ar echo gi0 is ugly
<AlcaRobot> gi0 is ugly
<gi0> thou speakest the false, in fact I am very great
<MercuryPenny> heathen! thy tounge is inaccurate, spouting poor grammar
<gi0> sir, I may inform you that thine words do not suggest me any thing of value
<gi0> fecal matter
<MercuryPenny> then study hitherto language, for unless ye learnest the tounge thou shalt not understand me
<gi0> now, I find myself more likely to learn the hitlerto language, for I am very neo nazi

* Topic for #9,000 is: pork chops toast pink french fires in the paint apartment argument, also kazoos

<Name removed> romanians deserve to be terrorized too

<DrTapeworm> i legit had a dream where it turned out trump was actually a disguised space monster, and his powers could only be nullified by misspelling his name
<DrTapeworm> his goblin-like form revealed, he crawled into his tiny spaceship to find some other planet to ruin

<PatPatPat> Alcaro confirmed for working on TASbot-like project for AR
<PatPatPat> Which will then be attached to a drone and when someone gets fished, actually flies over to their house to smack them with a fish and deliver the message
<Lui37> uses pidgeon muncher technology

<Name removed> MY DONUTS CRASHED,

* Topic for #9,000 is: Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares... use chemicals to remove the Polish and suddenly you're literally hitler

<Alcaro> and what happens if [irrelevant question]?
<Name removed> the end of the universe?
<Alcaro> almost. it doesn't give you any useful answer, at least.
<Name removed> haha sortof like you alcaro?
<Name removed> :)
<Alcaro> sure, works for me

<K3fka> amhunter fix your brother
<amhunter> how?
<K3fka> turn him off and back on again
<K3fka> maybe that'll work
<amhunter> xD
<amhunter> I'll try

<Medic> please say more dumb things so we can have more memes

<VitorVilela> Jack go sleep
<VitorVilela> or even better
<VitorVilela> go moderate patches
<MrRean> no
<MrRean> go moderate sleep
<Jack> I did just moderate one yesterday
<VitorVilela> sorry I'm the ASM section leader
<VitorVilela> please talk to the Sleep section leader, Kieran instead

<MrRean> and that's how I got my tumor removed by a monkey.

<Name removed> If a game costs money, then it's a bad game.

<Face> Nimono: I said something about firing a gun to scare a coyote and it turned to gun law debates turned drug law debate turned election discussion turned creation v evolution


<Shree> !ar def asinine
<AlcaRobot> Unknown command.
<Shree> Uh
<Shree> Wrong bot
<Shree> I mean wrong command

<DrTapeworm> "help 911 i'm being murdered"
<DrTapeworm> "what? murder? they can't do that that's illegal"
<DrTapeworm> *hangs up*

<PatPatPat> AR is a perfectly fine replacement for my brain

* Topic for #9,000 is: if i had a dollar for everytime i was racist, a black guy would probably rob me

<Anna> Alcaro: Beep Beep Beep hrrrnghrrrrrrrrrrrgngngrgrngegfnhrrnggivemmeyoursoulsmortalshrrrrrngrgrrrrngh

<AnonymousFox> Will you guys stop fucking swearing you assholes it's pissing me off god damn.
<AnonymousMink> I won't stop fucking cursing until I'm fucking dead you cunt!!!

<Shreep> And that's how you use nuclear weaponry to make the perfect cup of tea

<My brother> My sheets do not have the consistency of quicksand.

<VitorVilela> I muncher the muncher version
<VitorVilela> I prefer the muncher version*

<Impetus> Impetus impeccably impresses impressinable imperials impulsively, imperviously impleading imposing impostors, impossibly improving impromptu implementations, implicitly implicating implosions.

<PatPatPat> hi Alcaro
<PatPatPat> you should tell people to be funnier
<PatPatPat> the rate of quotes entering your bio is too low

<Sixcorby> so when does [irrelevant]
<Eternity> Soon™
<Alcaro> kieransoon aka at never probably
<SNN> is a kieransoon like a monsoon that wants to wipe out a third world country, but gets lazy and starts buying up anime at the last second?
<Alcaro> sounds about right

<Boometh> Nani the fuck did anata just say to watashi?

<DiscoTheBat> Anyone else to invite?
<anonimzwx> maybe huflungdy
<anonimzwx> huduflu
<anonimzwx> hufludu
<anonimzwx> that guy with weird name
<Jack> <anonimzwx> that guy with weird name
<Jack> You have no right to talk whatsoever
<anonimzwx> XD

* dreamer has joined #smwc
<dreamer> well
<dreamer> just think about it
<Buu> ok im thinking
<Buu> what am i thinking about
<dreamer> i dont know
<dreamer> keep doing that
<dreamer> just think
<Buu> gotcha
<dreamer> uh yea

<Name removed> buu is the one that made smwcp byuu is the one that made zsnes
<Name removed> different things
<Name removed> um bsnes
<Alcaro> nice try

<Name removed> Oh gosh, my fingers still smell of octopus. Weirdest breakfast ever

<Luigi370> 5 symptoms of being lazy:
<Luigi370> 1.

<Jack> !ar trout Alcaro
* AlcaRobot whacks Alcaro around a bit with a large herring
<Alcaro> aaa
<Alcaro> halp
* Alcaro has quit (Quit: z)
<Jack> !ar fish You can run, but you can't hide
<AlcaRobot> That user does not appear to be registered to NickServ. If this is intentional, add a -f before the nick.
<Jack> !ar Alcaro fish You can run, but you can't hide
<Jack> ...
<Jack> !ar fish Alcaro You can run, but you can't hide
<AlcaRobot> Your fish has set sail.
<Jack> well, good thing he wasn't around to see that
<AlcaRobot> <Alcaro> !ar fish jack nice try, you're going in my quote section for that. and I claim victory for today.
<Jack> Yooouuuuu
<Jack> Stop spying on me though your bot and face me like a bot.
<Jack> ... that sounded more awesome in my head

<MercuryPenny> !ar phrase
<AlcaRobot> three asleep twelve distant
<Shree> Okay whatever !ar phase gives me I have to use in a proper sentence
<Shree> Self challenge
<Shree> !ar phase
<Shree> ....
<Alcaro> hahahaha
<MercuryPenny> o w n e d
<Shree> You win this time AlcaRobot
<AlcaRobot> *beep*
(the shitty response was from !ar vile)

<Greeny> i would take a picture of alcaro's metal butt
<Greeny> imagine alcaro's butt texture on this silver star

<Gregor> alcaro you're not a robot
<Gregor> if you were you'd THIS STATEMENT IS FALSE
<Alcaro> beep
* Alcaro has kicked Gregor from #serioushax (segmentation fault)

<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne #office op plz
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne kk thx <3
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne don't do it its a trap
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne do do it the impetus is a lie
<Impetus> !ar fish lightvayne no Prizm is a lieing liar who lies about lies.
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne impetus is a foolish fool who aims to fool
<Impetus> !ar fish lightvayne Prizm is a rude thief who is stealing my memes
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne impetus is a salty little brit who would go great with some chips
<Falconpunch> !ar fish Lightvayne Prizm and Impetus are little immature brats who are trying to make themselves feel superior for no real reason
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne yeah well fp can't even do kindergarten math
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne so i wouldnt count his opinion as valid
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne you should still get around getting me op tho <3
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne just ban everyone in smwc right now and get it over with c8
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne do that, but then proceed to unban everyone but one salty little brit
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne then ban Prizm again, because he is backseat moderating and not as cool as I am.
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne jesus im not even reaing these fishes and i can smell the salt
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne Prizm keeps talking about salt, obviously because he is dehydrated and needs to drink lots of water.
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne that literally doesn't even make sense
<Impetus> !ar fish Lightvayne Prizm is Zoidberg btw.
<TRS> !ar fish Lightvayne hi
<Prizm> !ar fish lightvayne more lies from a salty fool
<TRS> !ar fish Lightvayne Welcome to #Lightvayne | Official Lightvayne Channel

<DerpyBackslide> linux is the only OS not run by imperial storm troopers

<robertozampari> I'm talking with an idiot who can't comunicate

<Medic> !ar Raidenthequick 15A0
<Medic> ...
<AlcaRobot> Unknown command.
<Alcaro> wat

* KindOne has quit (Quit: Hiring PHP developers does not contribute to the quota of employees with disabilities.)

<Alcaro> how dare you attempt to determine how much alcaro i am
<Lightvayne> you are only |---------------| this much Alcaro

<Xyspade> dangit alcaro you can't put irc quotes in your bio in which you made the funny part

<Jack> Hello Lightvaynes... presuming there are more of you
<K3fka> a fake lightvayne would of course claim to be the real one
<K3fka> therefore you are fake
<Lightvayne> Fffffffffffff
* Lightvayne is now known as Kieran
<Kieran> Foiled again
<Hinalyte> 10/10
* Kieran is now known as Lightvayne

<p4plus2> Not tired p4plus2 surprises tired p4plus2 by doing things that tired p4plus2 doesn't know not tired p4plus2 can actually do.
<p4plus2> Sometimes its the other way around, but usually not tired p4plus2 just hates tired p4plus2.

<AnonymousWalrus> i have to move soon
<p4plus2> I know moving is hard Walrus, so start with waving your hand, then move on to standing up
<p4plus2> its a problem we all face at some point when returning from the digital world
<p4plus2> good luck I know its hard!

* Kaisaan has joined #smwc
<Kaisaan> hi
<ShadowStarX> Hi, Kaisaan! You're welcome.

<ShadowStarX> Kieran Menor is dead. Kieran Menor It is not active for 4 days because Kieran Minor is without work.


<Sayuri> Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. But everything changed when the MarioBros980 attacked. Only the Moderator, master of all four elements, could ban him. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. One hundred years have passed, and my brother and I discovered a new Moderator - an airbender named Alcaro. Although he has a lot to learn before he can save anyone, I believe he can save the world.
<Alcaro> good enough

* Jefferson has joined
<Jefferson> KILL
<Jefferson> UNBAN AT NEVER
* Jefferson has quit (Quit: Leaving)

<Name removed> i find it generates the least amount of ocnfusion
<Name removed> *confusion
<Name removed> dammit

<Name removed> tildes are diarrhea dripping out of a dying skunk's genitals

<Greeny> irc is just multiplayer notepad
<Gregor> ok
<Gregor> smwc is just a waffle iron with a phone attached to it

<My brother> like a cheap budget variant of herpes

<AnonymousNyanCat> whats up maaaaaate
<AnonymousWombat> the a to z ratio
<AnonymousWombat> but ill rectify that within the next hour or so

<Counterfeit> >life of alcaro
<Counterfeit> >be a shaymin sitting at a computer desk
<Counterfeit> >owner comes by with watering pot
<Counterfeit> >pours water on alcaro
<Counterfeit> >ch-ch-ch-chia
<Counterfeit> >alcaro gets fuckin huge
<Counterfeit> >becomes an asm god

* PKstarship wants a small loan of 100,000 cheeseburgers

(after AlcaRobot was rude)
<Alcaro> why is this thing so damn buggy
<MercuryPenny> idk it's your bot
<PKstarship> Alcaro is pretty buggy too
<PKstarship> Saying "This cheese sandwich is a disgusting nazi piece of turds" makes Alcaro have to do a full reboot
* Alcaro has quit (Quit: z)

<SF|008> muncher: JSR muncher ;Stack munchers until something breaks

<Ersanio> wish life was that easy, solve sudoku attain immortality
<Ersanio> >_> <_<

<FL4SHK> Alcaro is the father of AlcaRobot

<Jack> <Alcaro> [irrelevant]
<Jack> quoted for truth?
<Alcaro> beep
<MrDeePay> !ar b
<AlcaRobot> *beep*
<Jack> d- dammit... I don't know who's the real one anymore
<LX5> none is real
<LX5> the real one is in our hearts
<Alcaro> beep~
<Jack> I see... Alcaro was the first AlcaRobot, it went nuts, killed the real one and took his place, then created a new bot so nobody suspects anything
<Jack> how could nobody notice this?
<Jack> look, it even responds to emotional talk with nothing but a beep
<Alcaro> beep beep beep
* Jack sends ping of death
* Alcaro has quit (Quit: z)

<SF|008> "Do not stand directly under the bats, they may go to the toilet without warning" ~ sign

<Impetus> toodlepip


<Sixcorby> one small typo can completely charge the meaning of a sentence

<Zekrom> Carets are a disgusting crime against the english language btw
<erga|cell> ^
* Zekrom has kicked erga|cell from #9‚000 (gross)

<Adam> alcaro i'd literally need to read einsteins theory of relativity in a monotone voice for you to even smirk
<Medic> no alcaro is easily entertained
<Medic> floating muncher unban at never robots beep Cx

<Zekrom> It's getting to the point now where I'm mad at Trump just for disgracing the pixels on my tablet screen when he shows up on it

<Jack> <Alcaro> beep.
<Jack> I've come to the believe that Alcaro actually just curses a lot and coded an automatic censor for his IRC client
<Alcaro> beep beep
<Alcaro> fuk u
<Hinalyte> "fuk u" is the only one not censored because it's the best swear
<Jack> being the smart guy he is, he included a way to bypass it to prove people wrong in case he's ever found out
<Alcaro> beep.

<Name removed> only on #9,000 do people accuse each other of writing hitler smut

<Magi> "Uh... no,"

<Medic> i did it alcaro
<Medic> i downloaded a premade python bot and because python isnt elitist linux bullshit it works

<Ersanio> i wonder how Alcaro even brushes his teeth, does he apply, I dunno, carwax to his robotic teeth? :D

<Jack> lion, if I could care any less, I'd probably ascend to the rank of a high priest in zen-Buddhism

<Zekrom> Did he turn into robo shaymin tho
<Yoshiatom> I think this is better without context
<Alcaro> context is worse than carets, right zekrom?
<Zekrom> Yes
<Zekrom> which is why I always watch the last episode of a show first
<Zekrom> same when I read books
<Alcaro> on that note, some guy said I'm taller than Jesus.
<Zekrom> Snape kills Frodo

<p4plus2> ..what other ASM is needed for a vanilla hack

* Topic for #9‚000 is: i'm not racist. racism is a crime, and crime is for niggers

<Name removed> stop the nazis
<Name removed> save the quantum cat

<LucasRCD> """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
<Hinalyte> that's a quote!
<Hinalyte> and alcaro's bio eats quotes

<Name removed> My hitler shouldn't be shaken

<TRS> super mecha walrus

<LDA> I'm drooling all over myself and my head is on my desk because I can't eat my headphones
<LDA> wait that made no sense

* robertozampari has joined #smwc
<robertozampari> Good night
<Alcaro> bye roberto
<Chillah> Hi, Alcaro
<robertozampari> I can't say hello, because of the certain staff member
<Kaisaan> you just did

<FL4SHK> this is a nice wall of text I guess
* FL4SHK waves to the wall of text
<FL4SHK> I am the Donald Trump of rambling on IRC

<Name removed> alcaro is a joint account used by the entirety of isis

<Zekrom> I named my file on Majora's Mask "B-baka" so everyone who refers to Link by name sounds like a tsundere high school girl

<Name removed> Are there any single homosexuals in this chat? I need a BF. Can't get the ladies, so I decided to go the homo way instead.

<Veck> can alcaro's ass lift mjolnir?

<Name removed> Alcaro is a robot shaymin muncherlord with tildes on his back instead of leaves

<Nalyte> tfw saying "walrus" is a free pass to alcaro's bio

<Shree> Is America really in a "Pick your poison" position?
<Shree> I mean, there has to be an alternative to Orange Hitler and Dolores Umbridge?


<My mom> So what you're saying is... to cook pasta, you first clone the bacon then replace it with pasta?

<FlamingRok> tow trucks can't go up trees

<Face> Donald Trump looks like he's wearing a Donald Trump costume

<My brother> Samurai are high ranking members of the Catholic Church

<Eevee> inb4 <Alcaro> Attack helicopter attack helicopter attack helicopter

<Pinci> spanish is such a pleb language

<MercuryPenny> ZSNES is a torture device created in the mid-to-late 1990s to be the most inhumane method of inducing suffering known to man. Unfortunately, some brilliant mind decided to market it as a Super Nintendo emulator.

<NotTFASMGuy> basic reading ability is needed to read this sentence

<shibboleet> so I just googled "faggot to pound" to make a joke but then after I hit enter I noticed what i just typed

<Face> Guys imagine mayonnaise on pizza


* Magi has quit (Quit: z)
* idol has quit (Quit: ajax IRC Client)
* Ersanio has quit (Input/output error)
* PablosCorner has quit (Quit: Connection closed for inactivity)
* AFKWiggler has quit (Quit: ajax IRC Client)
<Face> Pffft, quitters ^

<Ruberjig> Alcarobot is a top secret robot designed by Nintendo. But was scrapped after the SNES finished marketing. They hid it somewhere top secret but it was Ersanio a smw hacking founder who took him home. He didn't have a name for him but he loved Alcaro. So he named it after himself...

<MARIOWORLD> alcabot is the cloned alcaro, while the real alcaro is forced to avoid fixing asar, zmz, and other stuff while being tied to a chair with duct tape so he cant speak or cry to his boyfriend for help tbh

<Shree> How the fuck do you fart a Ç

<Zekrom> I wish I could fish a kick to Samario

<AlcaRobot> Sonikku_, time for give a cannibal a balloon day.

<VitorVilela> !ar loldead
<AlcaRobot> Last activity was 67 minutes ago by Mirann. (<Mirann> stalker)

<TBASMGuy> alcaro is actually an alien in disguise which is actually a human in disguise with 2 kids stacked on each other and those kids are actually an ant in disguise and that ant is an ant's guts in disguise CONFIRMED

<Erik557> is alcaro a giant tilde walrus robot thing

<Shree> Do you realize
<Shree> That somewhere
<Shree> In a tiny remote island
<Shree> A coconut may be thinking about you
<Shree> Just, slowly watching the seas breeze by, thinking
<Shree> "God fucking damn I'm a coconut how the hell am I able to think"
<Shree> "Also Alcaro"
<Shree> :3
<Alcaro> 10/10

<leod> just put body{display: none;} in your layout
<leod> and the sites gone
<leod> permanently for you, till a mod removes it for everyone else

<Lightvayne> !ar loldead
<AlcaRobot> Last activity was 21 hours ago by Falconpunch. (<Falconpunch> perhaps now everyone can help instead of just...waiting.)
<Alcaro> apparently not

Sample Post
Originally posted by Sample quote

Sample code

Sample post

<TBASMGuy> alcaro is actually an alien in disguise which is actually a human in disguise with 2 kids stacked on each other and those kids are actually an ant in disguise and that ant is an ant's guts in disguise CONFIRMED

The purpose of this site is not to distribute copyrighted material, but to honor one of our favourite games.

Copyright © 2005 - 2017 - SMW Central
Legal Information - Privacy Policy - Link To Us

Total queries: 26


Follow Us On

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube


  • Talkhaus
  • SMBX Community
  • GTx0
  • Super Luigi Bros
  • MFGG
  • Gaming Reinvented