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#666: The P-Switch

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BugWorks as Intended

I may end up bitterly regretting this, but I don't care anymore. It's high time I was honest with all of you. I'll start with relevant logs from #smwc-dev:

<Telinc1> @Kieran you're probably not going to approve, but
<Telinc1> there's something I want to discuss
<Telinc1> I'm tired of keeping all this P-Switch stuff secret; can we finally make it public?
<Kieran> Absolutely not >:(
<idol> doesn't it do like,,,, Nothing
<Telinc1> do any of you admin people even know
<Kieran> None of them do and none of them should
<Kieran> I hired you on one very simple condition
<Noivern> admit it, there were no conditions, you only caved in after Alcaro quit
<Kieran> No
<Kieran> But let me make this clear again
<Kieran> I absolutely forbid you from sharing anything

Later in a DM with idol, this happened:

<idol> what is the secret kieran insists on hiding
<Telinc1> too scared to say
<idol> this is something only between Us
<idol> it worries me that i dont know and i'm Head Admin for crying out loud
<Telinc1> fuck it, then
<Telinc1> I'll tell everyone

I blocked her afterwards so as not to see her reply or opinion. I no longer care what happens anymore. It's the admins' own fault for hiring me. This is all the information about the P-Switch contained within the developer-only forums.



#666
Object Class: Keter

The P-Switch started off as a harmless addition to the website, introduced by [DATA EXPUNGED] between ██/██/20██ and ██/██/20██. The uncertainty of the date comes from the lack of proper version control at the time. What is certain, however, is that the original implementation was meant simply to introduce mystery, with the hopes of it becoming an inside joke. After the renowned admin [DATA EXPUNGED] came into the team, however, the P-Switch became much more sinister per their suggestion.

The first attempts to work out its new purpose were carried out by D-666-32. They were instructed to go over the entire feature set of the website with and without the P-Switch pressed. In the process, they developed an extreme obsession with the site. They were brown banned after their research and they have never moved a muscle since, but medical examination showed they were alive and absolutely healthy.

The next person to experiment with the P-Switch was D-666-28. They had their eyelids cut off and were forced to stare at the small image to see if it ever changed. They died of dehydration before they managed to notice anything.

The last experiment was done by D-666-18. They were an ex-staff member who was made to click the P-Switch, waiting for a reaction. While no abnormal behavior was reported, they developed severe carpal tunnel syndrome and cut off their own hand from the pain. Following this incident, all work on figuring out the P-Switch was halted.

Appendix 666-A - March 9, 2018
A new coder was given access to the code yesterday. This is a concerning development, for it will allow more people to leak the P-Switch and its purpose. He will be monitored closely and terminated should he share any information.

Appendix 666-B - June 22, 2018
There was a leak. It is not directly related to the P-Switch but there was a very concerning leak which could have ended up destroying the site had it not been caught in time by our personnel. Telinc1, hereafter referred to as D-20124, is on his last chance. Any further leaks must result in his immediate termination.

Appendix 666-C - January 5, 2019
We suspect a serious leak. Investigation is currently underway to determine if it was not actually a security oversight.

These suspicions triggered complete anarchy in the Foundation. [DATA EXPUNGED] was threatened and tortured into finally sharing the purpose of the P-Switch.

When the P-Switch is [DATA EXPUNGED], it causes a [DATA EXPUNGED], which █████ ██████ ████ ████ and [DATA EXPUNGED].

[DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED] [DATA EXPUNGED]

USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST
what in fuckin tarnation

BugWorks as Intended

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