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Story of Hal Rodgers.
Forum Index - Hobbies - Art - Story of Hal Rodgers.
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This is the story of Hal Rodgers.

When he was born on this Earth, his mother holded him in her arms and said emotionally "Welcome to Earth, my little angel.". Doesn't she mean welcome to hell on Earth? Her husband kept beating her, raping her, and she always try to escape the abusive hands of her husband, but always fail. If her husband finds out about Hal (the baby), she will get killed. Now nothing to do about the infant, she had to either keep and hide the baby, or give him to her aunt ( A 45 yr. old lady whose optimistic and the sister of her mother, who had recently succumbed due to heart failure.), but she wanted to keep the baby and so, made her choice. When she drove back home, pulled up in her driveway, got out and saw her husband waiting for her in the porch. The sound of dry thunder is coming their way and her husband yelled "Where the hell have you been, Kathy!?" and she stutteringly replied "Out for a dri..." "B****! You told me you went grocery shopping! Are you lying to me? Are you lying to my God damn face!?" The baby is crying. "WHAT THE F*** IS THAT!?" He hopped and ran into the car and guess what he saw with his bright red, enraged face? Hal Rodgers. Bawling inside the car because he needed his mother. "I can expl..." "GIRL! SHUT UP!!!" Kathy is faded white scared because she knew what was coming for her. Then the twist came, her husband started to grab her, threw her into the ground, and the last thing she saw was her husband, Gary Rodgers, was choking her to a blackout. Death. Gary buried her body, but little does he know that the baby had dissappeared. Thirteen years later, as a adolescent, he didn't have a family, he's homeless, and he had a very troubled past. And life. Hal just figured out that his father is looking for him. Hunting him down. Hal isn't scared that his father wanted to murder him. At nighttime, he was on top of the 5-story building, staring at full moon and right behind him is his father. Hal said "What are you doing here? How did you find me?" "Luck. Are you ready to die like your mother?" "No. Are YOU ready to fall off?!" Then things started to get real physical. Hal punched and kicked his father. Gary pulled out his gun and said with his bloody mouth "You made me do this." Hal surrendered and his father smiled. Hal started to take the gun from his father and going all around the place, then all of a sudden...*POW*. Gary was paralyzed in shock and got pushed off the building by his son, thus, avenging his mother. Hal stared down and seen his father died. Hal walked away in triumph.

The End.
This story was interesting. . .but you have a few things to work on if you want to make writing a hobby. Firstly, if you plan on writing in English, brush up on your language skills a bit. Some of your adjectives (dry thunder?) and actions were a little off. Otherwise, write in your own language (I'm guessing it would be French or Spanish for you).

Secondly, there are some literary 'holes' in the story. How did Hal disappear from the car? Thirteen years suddenly pass, and he's an angry teenager bent on avenging his mother? Why? Who raised him? What were some of the problems during his childhood?

Making your story 'flow' is difficult to do--and it's something I still struggle with--but it is key to a good story.
Last edited on 2010-12-14 12:09:33 AM by Camerin.
Excuse me for not "detailing". Let me fill in the holes. Hal was seen by his parents' neighbors (The neighbor's cousin took the trash out to the curb and saw Hal(the baby) forgotten inside the car with the windows shut. The cousin called for his cousins(the neighbors) and they've rescued him because the doors were left unlocked and the neighbors raised Hal until his beginning of his adolescence. He moved out because he and his neighbors got into a furious argument and thats why he's homeless.

BTW, I don't speak French, nor Spanish. Only English.
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