| Ask Me About Being Transsexual |
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Forum Index - Serious Business - Talk - Ask Me About Being Transsexual |
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| Posted on 2012-06-02 09:49:30 AM |
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Originally posted by Dispari ScuroOriginally posted by AltheronXSurely not, I know that you have to 'act' like a girl over some time before a SRS would be accepted.
Hah. Something about the use of the word "act" is almost offensive. Probably not intended that way but, it's not an act man! It's not a high school play!
that's why i have used quotes '', i'm not that good in speaking english so sometimes i can't find the right words. my whole life i'm asking myself why black people, strangers and other ppl are that aggressive, i mean just go with the time and stop holding on flaming because of stereotypes.
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| Posted on 2012-06-02 08:05:25 PM |
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Originally posted by KaijyuuOh wow, neat. I didn't think they had gotten that far with plastic surgery. I'd always assumed there would be a significant lack of feeling with SRS and such (though I guess that's still the case for transmen).
Not quite plastic, since they use existing tissues that are there and stuff. They'll also use skin grafts if necessary.
Hm, is that the case for trans women? Mm, it's still a bit concerning, but that it's interesting how it's quite more successful than one might imagine..
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| Posted on 2012-06-08 06:22:00 PM |
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I filed my official namechange paperwork and got it notarized (now to wait on a court date), and sent out the "Hey I'm trans" email to everyone at work (194 people).
All in all a good day.
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| Posted on 2012-06-08 11:15:14 PM |
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Ah, congratulations. Another day, another step ^^
But it is something I've wondered, certainly some employers might rather not hire a trans person, either due to personal feelings or fear of potential costs such as health insurance or leaves (I don't know, I'm not too familiar with it). Clearly, your employer is comfortable with it enough to have you continue working there.. Does undergoing a transition potentially make it much harder to find a job?
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| Posted on 2012-06-09 12:23:57 AM |
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Interviewing as a trans person is difficult. Your options are (from MtF perspective):
A) Go as male, transition to female once you have the job
B) Go as male, tell them in the interview what they're in for
C) Go as female
The pros to A are:
You don't let them know anything is off up-front. You get interviewed based on your other statistics. Transitioning later prevents them from not hiring you based on trans status, which is easy to deny and just blame on other reasons (weren't "right for the job" etc).
The cons to A are:
You potentially make friends who know you as male and it can be difficult to switch. Your employer might not take it well (you don't know their stance until after you have the job).
Pros to B:
The company knows what's up, and you find out right away if it's a company you want to work for. After all, if they aren't supporting you probably wouldn't want to work there. Also gets it out of the way and you can transition earlier and just be up-front about it from the get-go.
Cons to B:
Kinda weird bringing it up in an interview and even if the company is supportive it might blow your chances. You also still have to meet people as male, pretty much.
Pros to C:
You already get a fresh face and get to present as female from the start. Everyone you meet knows you as female and you don't have to do any dancing around. Nobody has to "adjust" to anything.
Cons to C:
Your female self won't have a work history. And you may not have the legal paperwork yet. And they will want to know about your past and if you have to tell them it's pretty much just like doing B. Also if you don't tell people about it it can potentially lead to a rumormill.
Really I can't say which route is the best. You kind of have to decide that for yourself. I chose A. Fortunately my company was accepting. But not all are. Legally they can't fire you (in the US) for being trans. Gender identity is a protected class under the EEOC since 04/20/12.
I will say it's probably easier to stay in than get in. Which is why I picked A.
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| Posted on 2012-06-09 12:52:28 AM |
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Mm, I see, makes sense. In all cases, one can only hope for the best, it seems.
You do seem pretty fortunate. Your work is accepting, your family is supportive, your therapist is immensely helpful, your friends are mostly quite supportive, you didn't really have any internal struggles, haven't really had to deal with intolerance, etc.
Other than occasional mishaps, comments, or thoughts, is there anything troublesome that recurringly makes it difficult for you to be trans? Or is this an effect of an optimistic viewpoint?
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| Posted on 2012-06-10 12:19:46 AM |
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It's a good idea to have an optimistic outlook. I'm not sure that my experience is very indicative of a typical trans experience though. It's good to have luck. My biggest obstacle was myself -- having to get over caring what people think.
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| Posted on 2012-06-18 06:02:57 PM |
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Regarding name and gender change progress:
I just got back from doing a bunch of stuff. Fingerprint cards are being mailed out and I will get a court date in 2-3 weeks. Everyone I talked to today was super nice. The guy at the courthouse just asked if this was for me or someone else, and I said me and he goes "Okay. Let me get your cards." And the lady at the sheriff's office didn't even question it, she just took my ID and wrote my name down. And of course my attorney is always great.
In case anyone is curious how much I've spent: $750.00 attorney fees (worth it) + $50.00 for a note from my doctor (stupid) + $248.00 court fees + $0.60 money order fee + $5.00 parking + $10.00 for fingerprints at sheriff's office + $5.00 parking (again) + $39.00 money order for background check + $0.60 money order fee (again) = $1108.20. I will probably have to pay $5.00 to park when I go to court but that should be it.
That's not counting gas, food bought while running around, and the 11 total hours I took off work.
Now in 2-3 weeks I will finally be legally recognized as a lady.
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| Posted on 2012-06-19 01:06:01 PM |
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*clap, clap, clap*.
You are so brave. To amdit it to random people on the internet that you are transsexual, when many people out there are being prosecuted because of this... words can not describe how brave and honest you are.
- BlackMageMario
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| Posted on 2012-06-19 05:42:06 PM |
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I have to congratulate you. It's really great, and reassuring, to see your progress on these important steps.
Is that tax-deductible, or is the total money count just for the sake of it? I'd say that's not that bad in terms of cost, due to how important legal recognition can really be for people. What state do you live in btw, if you're comfortable sharing that? I've read that different states have different requirements for legal recognition.
I look up to you by the way..
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| Posted on 2012-06-21 09:34:30 AM |
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Originally posted by UltimaximusI have to congratulate you. It's really great, and reassuring, to see your progress on these important steps.
Is that tax-deductible, or is the total money count just for the sake of it? I'd say that's not that bad in terms of cost, due to how important legal recognition can really be for people. What state do you live in btw, if you're comfortable sharing that? I've read that different states have different requirements for legal recognition.
I look up to you by the way..
Nope, not tax-deductible (I don't think). That's just total money. Partially because I wanted to show it to other trans people (especially in my area) who want to do the same thing.
I live in Texas. DFW metroplex.
Also thanks. 
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| Posted on 2012-06-21 02:25:29 PM |
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You have my full support, and I know a few people in real life who are transsexual, but I'm just curious to hear what you think about Against Me!'s singer coming out as transsexual and starting to live as a woman. Do you think this will help spread awareness about transsexuality or make it more socially acceptable? As far as I know, she's the first major rock star to do so.
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| Posted on 2012-07-02 08:27:32 PM |
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Originally posted by ergazoobiYou have my full support, and I know a few people in real life who are transsexual, but I'm just curious to hear what you think about Against Me!'s singer coming out as transsexual and starting to live as a woman. Do you think this will help spread awareness about transsexuality or make it more socially acceptable? As far as I know, she's the first major rock star to do so.
I've never even hear of this band...are you sure she is major?
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| Posted on 2012-07-04 07:17:25 PM |
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Originally posted by ergazoobiYou have my full support, and I know a few people in real life who are transsexual, but I'm just curious to hear what you think about Against Me!'s singer coming out as transsexual and starting to live as a woman. Do you think this will help spread awareness about transsexuality or make it more socially acceptable? As far as I know, she's the first major rock star to do so.
It's pretty neat, but I didn't actually know who she was until some trans friends started talking about it. I think anyone and everyone helps spread awareness. It would be nice if more people who were famous started making themselves known. One of the previously-named "Wachowski Brothers" is a girl now. She goes by Lana. =)
In other news I'm happy that Oreo came out in support of gay rights. That's kind of cool. They can join JC Penny.
In other other news, since I'm in a good mood:
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| Last edited on 2012-07-04 07:18:26 PM by Dispari Scuro. |
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| Posted on 2012-07-06 09:24:22 AM |
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I'm only disappointed in JCPenney for dropping sponsorship of FIRST Robotics βP
cutie :β
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