A few things. First, your $F4 $02 toggled on and off between loops because you didn't include a loop point. I fixed that.
Second, I'm guessing the pitch modulation you wanted was $FA $02 $10 so that #3 is pitch modulated into #4, instead of #2 into #3 into #4. That said, I feel like the pitch modulation doesn't add much to the song; it sounds almost exactly the same when I disable it (try Settings > Expansion Flags > Disable Pitch Modulation in the SPC player.) Something worth considering if you want to try other instrument combinations.
Overall though, the instrumentation in this port has a certain nostalgic charm to it. Reminds me of something I'd hear in a hack in like 2011 and wonder where the song is from.
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