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NoelYoshi's Bitch Booklet: Keep your hoes in check.

Strong language warning.
Response to: http://smwc.me/t/69379

I've been witnessin' some lady trouble on the forums and irc the past hour and some users have been askin' me for the advice on the women. It seems like a lot of you all, especially in the IRC channel, need a little help. Well, here I am, with my rules I wrote down in the best notebook for your nappy-headed hoe problems: my Bitch Booklet. We got all the rules and precautions, don't even worry, Anthony's gotchu.

---

Rule #1: If she thirsty, give that bitch some water.

"What does thirsty mean?" Well, start here.

No one likes a thirsty hoe. If the want for your boink has her sounding drier than the Sahara Desert, you need to call 9-1-1 and get her some Aquafina ASAP. If her want for sex is more apparent than the sun on a clear day, you need to take her to the beach and give her a baptism.

Rule #b: Class with the ass.

When you're tryna pick up a nice girl, and you lookin' for a nice bod, make sure you don't become the thirsty one. When you walk up to a woman, don't stare at the butt wit a face like it's the first piece a' meat you've seen in seventeen years. Be cool, calm, collected. Most of all, be discreet if you're trying to check her out. If you do it wrong, she'll snatch you so fast that yo future baby's gonna come out cryin'. Walk around, see the ass, let outa little "daaaaamn" to yourself if it look good, and walk back. If she got that literal badass, the one that look like school lunch meatloaf, stop, drop, and hell no. However, keep in mind you don't want an ass that look like it could come alive n' swallow you whole at any time. And, ALWAYS remember, if that bitch can't twerk, send that hoe out of your house and straight into work.

Rule #✯: Don't hate a player, pop a cap in their ass.

This one's all about the hating niggas. If you tryna holla' at a girl, and some other guy tryna holla' at the same girl right afterwards, don't take that shit. Walk the hell up on him, lay it out for his ass, and if he is trying to play the gangsta/rap game, show him you ain't no fucknigga. This one's short: you should know how you do.

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These three basic rules will have you able to grab any hoe. If you're still havin issues, leave a holla' down below and I'll hit you up with the supplements. Stay fresh, my nigga.




But what if I, as a girl, want to pick up another girl? Give me some tips, I'm helpless ;-;

This is also the best thread ever, I can't believe no-one ever thought of this before.

EDIT: fixed lolgrammar
Thank you for your tips Noel. I shall put them into practise and report what I find hopefully an ass or two *shot*.

- BlackMageMario
Ain't nothing never going wrong again with these fine guidelines.

b always gave me trouble and now you solved it for me, my penis grew 4 inch in only 3 weeks!
Your layout has been removed.
Seems legit

Gonna try dat brb
It's easily the best thing I've done
So why the empty numb?
this thread is amazingly true

thanks for the hot tips nigga
Originally posted by leod
Ain't nothing never going wrong again with these fine guidelines.

b always gave me trouble and now you solved it for me, my penis grew 4 inch in only 3 weeks!

doctors hate him
my god, my wildest dreams have come true with this :D
Windowless ride, feeling alive
Are you alive or just breathing?
Originally posted by Grav
But what if I, as a girl, want to pick up another girl? Give me some tips, I'm helpless ;-;


Rule %4: Double Hoe Midnight Madness

If you tryna get a girl, and you iz a girl, all you gotta do is be the best hoe yo can be. If you can out-hoe her, she'll come straight running into your arms. Remember, if you out-hoe a hoe, she'll be lovin' your soul.




nigga u forgot da numba 1 rool u no wut im sayin?/

'if she can reach da base, get yo dik outta her face"

mmhmm nigga if yhu got no dik yu get no bicth u no wut im sayin

Fuck this shit man I don't want no bitches I need me some real men.
Got any pick-up lines I can steal?
shirt status: not on
Originally posted by Golden Yoshi
Fuck this shit man I don't want no bitches I need me some real men.

Don't worry, Noel will soon release his new Booklet: "NoelYoshi's Stud Booklet"

Everything you need to know to get a man is in there.
don't click this link...
Originally posted by Golden Yoshi
Fuck this shit man I don't want no bitches I need me some real men.


Hahahahahaha omg.

I mean, *ahem*, NoelYoshi's Manhoe Magazine will be coming out soon. Don't even worry.




in short, don't be a ballet-ass nigga