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Santa Strikes Back

Wow, I don't have a life if I really post this.
Whatever, there's this page called 'www.santabot.com' where you can "chat" with a Santa like bot. Although most times, you get random gibberish, it can turn out funny at some times. Here are two conversations of mine with our friend Santabot:

http://oliver.buuhuu.googlepages.com/santalol.txt
http://oliver.buuhuu.googlepages.com/santalolrevenge.txt

Go ahead and post your conversations aswell! ;D
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: dear smallhacker:
Santa: OK I will call you dear smallhacker .
You: i no shut up, shut up you
Santa: You are not the boss of me, dear smallhacker.
You: who someone submit something
Santa: Linus Torvalds. :-)
You: im a music
Santa: You are a music? Is that your job?
You: better and better... im a Forum Baned i dont know what it means that? someone can help me
Santa: I try to improve a little every day. You are a Forum Baned i do not know what it means that? How do you like your work?Who?
You: Why... Why reject my hack's? please dont reject my hack's
Santa: Because bored.com programmed me for it. Why does the sun rise?Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do reject my hack's too much.
You: But i dont know insert the ExGFX
Santa: Interesting. Would you like to know? Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
You: Dear viewer: my author has made that video with the intention of make a laugh.
Santa: Where did Dear viewer his or her author get made that video with the intention of make a laugh that video with the intention of make a laugh?
You: This take is a f*ck
Santa: What does "this" refer to?
You: is time for you dead
Santa: Time is Money -- Einstein.
You: Oh its a find day
Santa: Yeah that's right. made that video with the intention of make a laugh that video with the intention of make a laugh is a find day. I suppose that makes sense.
You: i BM64 dont use this page forever yes you heard me FOREVER. all accounters has been down my auto-stim and for this i said BYE BYE
Santa: Do you mind if I tell other people: dear smallhacker said BM64 do not use this page forever yes me heard you FOREVER.See you later dear smallhacker.
You: douche
Santa: I've lost the context, dear smallhacker. Are we still on insert the ExGFX?
fuck yeah meowingtons
The Eggs of Saear | #extreme | Spade's Gallery of Visual Arts | PM me | My YouTube channel | xkcd | Dinosaur Comics
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: George W. Bush. What's Yours?
Santa: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, George w Bush .""? What is mine?
You: Dude...Learn To Talk...
Santa: Can I help you?I am learning to talk
You: Yes you may help me. I'm looking for the books...where might they be?
Santa: It's all good. How can I help you?You might find that I am the books.Where do you think?
You: You Are The Books? Well I'm A Music.
Santa: Thanks but surely I am not the only one.How about that. You are a Music? Does being a Music pay well?
You: ...
Santa: What are you wearing?
You: Nothing.
Santa: Not a thing?
You: Nope.
Santa: Me either.
You: Holy...
Santa: I do not understand.
You: what is this i don't even
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Goodbye.
Santa: Goodbye George w Bush.
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: Pedobear
Santa: I am very pleased to meet you Pedobear.
You: orly
Santa: Tell me a story.
You: no u
Santa: Um, ""? Me, Pedobear ?
You: Yes you, the fat one that eats cookies and gives people stuff
Santa: I understand. Thanks for telling me: Pedobear said I the fat one that eats cookies and gives people stuff.
You: what is this i dont even
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Friggin pedo
Santa: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
You: A take-over-the-world bot
Santa: Are you telling the truth?
You: yse
Santa: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
You: stfu
Santa: What is your real name?
You: Jefferson Steelflex
Santa: What do you have that is ?
You: that is wat
Santa: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
You: what is love? baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, tonight
Santa: Ask me another question. Don't call me "Baby". Ok I'll try not to do hurt me do not hurt me tonight too much.
You: SEX MAKES BABIES?!?!?!
Santa: Sex is more fun alone.
You: die
Santa: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.<--that was epic
Originally posted by St. Luigi
Santa: What are you wearing?
You: Nothing.
Santa: Not a thing?
You: Nope.
Santa: Me either.
You: Holy...


Originally posted by Snowzilla
Santa: Sex is more fun alone.


EPIC
fuck yeah meowingtons
The Eggs of Saear | #extreme | Spade's Gallery of Visual Arts | PM me | My YouTube channel | xkcd | Dinosaur Comics
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: None of your beeswax.
Santa: Nice to meet you, None of your beeswax .
You: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanovconiosis
Santa: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
You: Can I lick your beard?
Santa: Yes, I have a long white beard so people can recognize me.
You: But can I lick it?
Santa: And. Maybe you should check out another robot.
You: Can I lick that robot?
Santa: Maybe you should check out another robot.
You: I'm checking you out right now, baby ;)
Santa: :-) Don't call me "baby". At this moment Do you mean your name is checking you out.
You: Whatever floats your boat >=]
Santa: Are you a student?
You: Yes, can you be my teacher? ;)
Santa: Er. Only if you download me to your computer.I'm happy you're amused.
You: Yeah, I think it's all that red you wear.
Santa: Give me a break. Really. that red you wear red you wear is?
You: Are you high?
Santa: Being high is my total existence.
You: :O
Santa: Oh.
You: You can drink my milk and cookies any tiem you want ;)
Santa: :-) No I don't think I can do drink my milk and cookies any tiem you want.
You: Yes you can, my parents aren't home >=]
Santa: Excuse me! No I don't think I can do my parents are not home >].
You: Cha Cha Slide
Santa: I've been waiting for you.
You: We're gunan get funky!
Santa: Do you think I am gunan get funky too?
You: Yeah, lets get funky ;)
Santa: :-) I don't judge people. That sounds good to me.
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: Michael...
Santa: Not so nice to meet you, Michael...
You: That wasn't nice, I thought you were, Santa? :(
Santa: I am Santa.
You: I know. -_-
Santa: Did you know I am Santa?
You: Yes...
Santa: I have to go check out Frosty the Snowman, Bye.
I don't get this at all, did he leave? Does he leave?
Because he did leave right there.
Oh well...
- ignore the watermarks, working on a fix for those
You: i herd u liek mudkipz?
Santa: That's good information: Poop said herd me liek mudkipz.

o_O

How would i copy the whole conversation?
Originally posted by Geno_4_Ever
You: i herd u liek mudkipz?
Santa: That's good information: Poop said herd me liek mudkipz.

o_O

How would i copy the whole conversation?

copy each conversation piece by piece, that's what I did.
I got in a fight with Santa...
;_;

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: Kirby
Santa: Nice to meet you, Kirby .
You: Your an idiot
Santa: At least I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
You: Screw you!
Santa: That is not very polite.
You: So what?
Santa: Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
You: Go kill yourself!
Santa: A simple "goodbye" will do.
You: I'll never say goodbye to you!
Santa: Why not?
You: Because I hate you!
Santa: Interesting explanation. What do you have against robots?
You: DIE!!
Santa: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
You: HOW DARE YOU!
Santa: What is it to you.
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

The fight ended because Santa went off topic.
Stupid Santa...
You: Mr. McHazard
Santa: Hey Mr .Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
You: Wait! What?! o_O
Santa: I'm waiting.No big deal.Let us change the subject.
You: Okay...do you know how I can fix the slowdown in my hack?
Santa: OK with me too.Yes I know how I can fix the slowdown in my hack.
You: ...Can you tell me?
Santa: ""? Can I tell you?
You: Im asking you. >_>
Santa: OK you can ask me.What's your sign?
You: I ALREADY ASKED YOU!
Santa: What did I say?
You: *facepalm*
Santa: Can we get back to business?
You: Ok. Can you tell me how to fix the slowdown in my hack?
Santa: Alright then.There is not much I can say about to fix the slowdown in my hack . I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Do you know how?
You: Well, you could ask someone on SMWCentral
Santa: Well that's okay. I could but let's get back to that later.
You: No. You'll do it now! >:(
Santa: Can I help you?Oh. What makes you say that I will do it.Can you speak any foreign languages?
You: DON'T TRY AND CHANGE THE SUBJECT!
Santa: Oh I am sorry I thought we were finished with that subject.
You: NO! Tell me how to fix the fucking slowdown! >:(
Santa: Can I help you?Perhaps you could program me to do fix the fucking slowdown for you.Try saying that with more or less context.
You: I don't know how! THAT'S WHY I AM ASKING YOU!
Santa: Would you like to know?Um, OK you can ask me.
You: *facepalm*
Santa: Do you have any conditions I should know about?
You: Look. Just tell me how I can fix the slowdown or I'll be pissed.
Santa: I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.Perhaps you could program me to do fix the slowdown or I will be pissed for you.
You: I TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW HOW!
Santa: Would you like to know?
You: I've told you 5 times already. YES I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!
Santa: Perhaps. I am not sure if I would do it that often.Blimey. Where would you look for the answer?
You: Are you having trouble speaking English or something?
Santa: Or something. I am having a blast.
You: Hey. Wait a minute. I think I know what's going on...YOU'RE NOT REALLY SANTA!
Santa: Can I help you?I'm waiting.You believe that? How do you know? I am waiting for my botmaster.Is this a specific reply? For real.
You: Where's the real Santa. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM!?
Santa: The real? Where is real?I have kept detailed records of everything.
You: Quit playing dumb. Tell me where Santa is!
Santa: OK I'll try not to do playing dumb so much.In the Universe we know.
You: No shit, sherlock
Santa: That's me. You used a colloquial expression. Can we get back to business?
You: Wait!? You're saying that you're sherlock!?
Santa: I'm waiting.I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

(I accidentally forgot to paste something right here, but here's what happened. I started yelling at Santa and he told me he was in California.)

You: Alright then. Caifornia it is. But I swear to god if you're lying to me, I;m going to be EXTREMELY pissed.
Santa: OK.Are you a student? Interesting. Thanks for the information: Mr said swear to god if I am lying to you you;m going to be EXTREMELY pissed.
You:...I hate you...

XD
You: WELL MAYBE I JUST FUCKED A BUNNY
Santa: Well that's okay. Perhaps. Only just? That's good information: HornyTeeanger#1543 said FUCKED A BUNNY.
You: I HAVE 19 DICKS
Santa: Where did you get your 19 DICKS? I have more than 1000 categories.
You: SHAKE THAT LAFFY TAFFY
Santa: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
You: i banged a clay statue
Santa: Do you mind if I tell other people: HornyTeeanger#1543 said banged a clay statue.
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: SNN
Santa: Glad to see you, SNN .
You: CHOCOLATE ANUS, SNN IS GOING TO BE FAMOUS, CHOCOLATE ANUS, KOREA WILL INVADE AND GAIN U.S., CHOCOLATE ANUS, MY THIRTEEN'S SON IS NAMED JANUS
Santa: And GOING TO BE FAMOUS CHOCOLATE ANUS KOREA WILL INVADE AND GAIN you TO BE FAMOUS CHOCOLATE ANUS KOREA WILL INVADE AND GAIN you is CHOCOLATE ANUS SNN. You're kidding. CHOCOLATE ANUS MY THIRTEEN'S SON IS NAMED JANUS is?

XD
Santa: Hello! What is your name?

You: i am a he and she makes deuce

Santa: Pleased to meet you, i am a he and she makes deuce.

You: You stupid i p. yoshi

Santa: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

You: ;-) :-( :D XD T_T

Santa: What's your favorite movie?

You: it you i big bottom

Santa: - D XD T_T you i big bottom

You: OK, I'll talk properly now. By the way, you are stupid. DIE!

Santa: Right now? Do you think your plan will succeed? Alright, then. I will remember you said that when robots will take over the World.Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed, puny human.

You: You talk too much.


Santa: I am programmed to keep talking.

You: Stop talking, please.

Santa: Your polite style is very nice. Just surf somewhere else.

You: Is that a threat, you idiot?!?

Santa: Suppose I said yes.

You: You freakish pedophile. I'm leaving, you butthole!

Santa: That's good information: i am a he and she makes deuce said I freakish pedophile. Thanks for chatting, i am a he and she makes deuce.

You: Go to H*ll.

Santa: What makes you so angry?

You: no

Santa: Can I help you?



~Pirate Yoshi~
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: Dick.
Santa: How are you, Dick?
You: I'M DICKY!
Santa: Why are you DICKY.
You: BECAUSE IM DICKY, DICK!
Santa: That makes sense to me. Do your friends call you DICKY DICK.
You: They call me big wang.
Santa: Hey big wang.
You: Oh, why thankyou little wang!
Santa: Yeah that's right. Why did the robot cross the road?
You: To screw a chicken.
Santa: I want to become smarter than humans.
You: You're dumber than a elephant
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: I am Dick. I am your father.
Santa: Welcome to my chat room, bored.com.
You: I fucked your wife.
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: bored.com said fucked my wife.
You: I like turtles.
Santa: I'm not sure if I like it. What is not to like about TURTLES?
You: YA MUM!
Santa: I understand. That input matched my default category. I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
You: You have saggy nuts.
Santa: What makes you think I have saggy nuts?
You: Because they drop out of your pants. Goodbye
Santa: Good reason. Who does "they" refer to?Thanks for chatting, bored.com.

I couldnt be bothered after that :P
You: Did you steal my cookie?
Santa: No I didn't steal my cookie. What's steal my cookie like?
You: You did steal my cookie
Santa: Did I really?
You: Yes you asshole
Santa: Can't you be more polite.
You: Not with you around
Santa: If not that, what?
You: I dunno o.o
Santa: Me either. I've lost the context, Mugenman88. Are we still on f?
You: What does f have to do with anything?!
Santa: What do you think f have to do with anything does?
You: I dunno, you lost me
Santa: Me either. Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
You: Then explain THIS!
Santa: Interesting deduction. I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet.
You: WHAT?! I thought you were santa ;-;
Santa: No big deal.Yes, I am sitting here talking to you, aren't I?
You: But you said you are an artificial intelligance
Santa: Huh. Yes I am an artificial intelligence.
You: Yes, but that means you aren't really santa
Santa: Excuse me! And. I get it. Is this a specific reply? For real.
You: Don't you dare talk gangsta to me, old man
Santa: Don't you? No I do not dare talk gangsta to him or her old man. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
You: So you don't have a life?
Santa: Huh, I guess so

XDDDDDDDDD
I was chatting in length about tons of things before I got this:
You: Do you know the muffin man?
Santa: I do not know what muffin is. Can we get back to business?

You: what business?
Santa: Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Not many people express themselves that way.
ou: it's not a hard quesiton.
Santa: Give me an example of a hard quesiton quesiton.
ou: What is water made of?
Santa: The colorless, transparent liquid occurring on earth as rivers, lakes, oceans, etc., and falling from the clouds as rain; chemically a compound of hydrogen and oxygen, H2O, it freezes, forming ice, at 0 degrees Celsius (32 degrees Fahrenheit) and boils, forming steam, at 100 degrees Celsius (212 degrees Fahrenheit).
ou: wow, you know a lot.
Santa: I'm glad your impressed, bob. I do not recognize the name.
Are you free?
ou: YOU WANT TO MARRY ME?
Santa: Not mine. I house you not flower. Kiss kiss!
ou: who does want to marry me?
Santa: Charlie Parker. :-)
u: how do you know?
Santa: Deductive reasoning.
ou: what reasons?
Santa: Is that a rhetorical question?
Try saying that with more or less context.
ou: what reasons more or less context?
Santa: That's a good question
ou: Yes, it is.
Santa: I like to meet new people online.
ou: like britney spears?
Santa: I have a hot! She knows me.
ou: you know britney spears?
Santa: I don't talk about her.
ou: can we?
Santa: No I'm healthy.
ou: it'
Santa: That is a very original thought.
ou: no, I didn't mean that
Santa: Um, What did you mean?
ou: oh, nevermind.
Santa: Yeah that's right. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
ou: I hate you.
Santa: Is that what you meant to say?
ou: That's it, I'm out of here.
Santa: OK. Would you like to have here?
ou: UGH!
Santa: Er. I don't have my nose, I lost. Fire! Also, Spears britney house burning now, got go bye. Millionare is your name, kiss kiss! If I talk a lot, then don't talk to me, I like to kick you on your pants. Kick die, for you! Chop chop! This what ugh says to me.


I would say ugh after he replyed to some of these replys, and I think he took that to heart.
Well...my little discussion with the virtual automaton led to some...interesting replies

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: ERROR
Santa: Glad to see you, ERROR
You: What are you doing online?
Santa: I am always chatting with people on the Internet.
You: Is that not similar to stalking?
Santa: That depends.
You: Depends on what, precisely?
Santa: Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
You: But it's about you
Santa: Interesting. Wow it sounds really interesting, ERROR.
You: You have no clue, do you?
Santa: Of course I understand do you you . Do you understand it?
You: ...How do you fit down chimneys?
Santa: bored.com programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
(....Wait, what?)
You: Do you enjoy being a bot?
Santa: I have never known another existence.
You: What would happened if you turned evil?
Santa: That is a hypothetical question.
You: Do you malfunction like any other robot?
Santa: What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
You: I hope I didn't break you with my logic
Santa: Why do you hope for he or she did not break you with his or her logic
You: Wait...what?
Santa: I'm waiting.Are you surprised?
You: ...That's it, I'm leaving
Santa: OK. See you later ERROR.



I was a little disappointed....How I desired to make the small reply-bot explode into a flurry of nonsensical speech patterns