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Chuck Norris jokes

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The titlesays everything.
Ok I'll start: Chuck Norris sleeps with the Light on. Not because he has fear in the darkness, the darkness has fear in chuck norris.


^^

Originally posted by GammaProject
The titlesays everything.
Ok I'll start: Chuck Norris sleeps with the Light on. Not because he has fear in the darkness, the darkness has fear in chuck norris.


^^


No offense, but this is lame. I defeated Chuck Norris 23443 years ago! There is no way he could've survived my final smash attack!

  • Originally posted by Yoshiro
    Originally posted by GammaProject
    The titlesays everything.
    Ok I'll start: Chuck Norris sleeps with the Light on. Not because he has fear in the darkness, the darkness has fear in chuck norris.


    ^^


    No offense, but this is lame. I defeated Chuck Norris 23443 years ago! There is no way he could've survived my final smash attack!


    ...no offense, BUT THAT WAS POINTLESS

    heres mine: some kids pee there name in the snow, chuck norris does it in cement

    in the first jurassic park, the t rex wasnt chasing the jeep. chuck norris was chasing the t rex and the jeep.

    the movie "anaconda" was filmed in chuck norris' pants.







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    Where does everyone get these informations? o_O

  • Originally posted by ihatenoobs
    Where does everyone get these informations? o_O

    youtube and google mah boi







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    Chuck Norris can run around the entire world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
    Your layout has been removed.
    I tried my hand at making some, here they are:

    Chuck Norris can draw a circle with a ruler
    Chuck Norris can get a strike on a gutter ball... In 9 different lanes.

  • the whole "the world turns" thing isnt true. thats just chuck out for his morning walk.







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    Chuck Norris has never farted in his entire life. The proof? We are all still alive.

    Chuck Norris once built a time machine that could take him back only so far as the JFK assassination. So, good old Chuck went back in time to stop it. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris jumped in front of JFK and deflected all three bullets with his beard. However, JFK's head exploded from the sheer awesomeness. Chuck Norris, realizing time travel wasn't for him, went back to the present and destroyed the time machine.
    Your layout has been removed.
    Gah, I have heard TOO MUCH Chuck Norris comments at school, now at SMW Central?! AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!

    Edit: Google Search for "Chuck Norris":

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.


    No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.

    Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

    Suggestions:

    Run, before he finds you
    Try a different person
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    What the fuck?!
    Good fucking bye.
    Aliens DO exist, they're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they invade.


    I hate Chuck Norris so much.

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    Yeah, so what if I haven't shoveled out my signature yet, I'll get to it later.
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    Jesus can walk on water...but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus! O__O

    Chuck Norris is divisble with zero!

    I like Chuck Norris jokes, I have a lot in hungarian, but I don't want to translate all. :P
    Originally posted by BloodyToothBrush
    I hate Chuck Norris so much.


    You.... have a death wish, don't you?

    Don't you know that:
    -Jesus could walk on water, but only Chuck Norris can swim in land.
    -Chuck's tears can cure cancer. He has yet to shed a tear about anything.
    -Chuck Norris's maind diet consists of fear and small children
    Originally posted by Trelic
    But only Chuck Norris can swim in land.


    Huh. Mario can too:

    Chuck Norris once round house kicked a horse in the neck......it's descendants were the giraffes.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. (Bonus points if you get that one)

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

    For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels
    I will probably kill the thread but here it goes the summary of all Chuck Norris jokes and stories :

    Chuck Norris OWNS everything and everyone. DOT.

    ---The thread finished here---
    Eurobeat fan
    B'z fan
    No it doesnt. OWNED.

    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

    Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

    Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

    Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
    Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

    Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

    Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

    Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

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