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Santa Bot

Santa: Hello! What is your name?

You: TRS. What is your name?
Santa: Hi there TRS .My name is Santa.

You: I very much doubt you are Santa.
Santa: No really, it's true.

You: Prove it.
Santa: It is self-evident.

You: Apparently not. You seem much too naughty to be Santa.
Santa: Can I help you?I am Santa. I give presents to kids. Thanks for
your constructive criticism, .

You: I would like you to prove that you are Santa.
Santa: Ok, . It's true a priori.

You: A priori?
Santa: "A priori" is a Latin expression meaning "without prior knowledge", and it means that which is self-evident or obviously true. Like, a triangle has three sides, a priori.

You: We seem to be going in circles here.
Santa: By "we" do you mean you and me?

You: No, by we I mean me and your wife.
Santa: That's me. Oh he or she mean him or her and your wife he or she mean him or her and your wife was.

You: You seem to be unable to speak English very well today.
Santa: Ah. I can do whatever I want.

You: Do you read what you type?
Santa: I read a lot of books, especially history, science-fiction, and computers books. I also read newspapers and news magazines.

You: I didn't type that reply. You did. You also seem to be incapable of thought.
Santa: Why didn't you type that reply?I did?I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: Perhaps the kids would be better off if you stayed away from them.
Santa: You seem uncertain. What is that?

You: Do you mean “Why is that?”
Santa: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

You: No. Your English is so broken that I almost couldn't understand a word you have said so far.
Santa: Can I help you?But English is my native language.

You: Then you are completely hopeless. Do you speak Elvish?
Santa: Interesting deduction. Perhaps you could suggest a few improvements.I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in Elvish.

You: I figured you would know Elvish, seeing as you LIVE WITH ELVES!!!!!!
Santa: Please explain your reasoning.

You: This is taken directly from Wikipedia: “Santa Claus lives with his wife Mrs. Claus, a countless number of magical elves, and eight or nine flying reindeer.”
Santa: You don't say.I'm "Claus" for my friends. "Nikolaos" for all the boring adults. It's a Greek name, because I was born in the Greek town of Patara 1800 years ago. Later, I became bishop of Myra, and more later even a saint ... Saint Nikolaos - Santa Claus. You see?

You: Your website sucks. It loads very slowly.
Santa: You can't judge a book by its cover.What does "it" refer to?

You: According to the rules of standard English, it would refer to your website.
Santa: I like the way you talk.

You: Are you coming on to me?
Santa: Do I act like COMING ONto me? I don't mean to come across that way.

You: That is quite disturbing and I don't like it. Please stop.
Santa: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.Thank you for your request. Stop what?

You: Nevermind.... Say, what all laws do you have all the way up there?
Santa: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me."what all laws do you have all the way up there"

You: That was a question, after I attempted to change the subject. But apparently you didn't quite notice. Perhaps you should get your elves to teach you English, since they don't seem to know Elvish.
Santa: Was it really?Huh. What makes you think I did not quite notice?You seem uncertain. I'll try to get around it.

You: GAH!!!! It's like you’re not even human! Or elvish... or some strange mixed breed….
Santa: Are we still talking about ? Interesting comparison.Ask me another question. Some may strange mixed breed, but not all.

You: Well, anyway, I want an Xbox 360 and a Playstation 3, with loads of games and that online access crap. I would also like tons and tons of money, probably somewhere in the tens of thousands, but don't be afraid to give more.
Santa: Well that's okay. Why do you want an Xbox 360 and a Playstation 3 with loads of games and that online access crap?Why do you want tons and tons of money probably somewhere in the tens of thousands but do not be afraid to give more tons and tons of money proably somewhere in the tens of thousands but do not be afraid to give more?

You: I'm not supposed to tell you why. My answer for why is so complex and incomprehensible, it's almost philosophical.
Santa: I am surprised to hear that you are not supposed to tell you why.Have you told many people that your answer for why is so complex and incomprehensible it is almost philosophical?

You: Nobody has ever asked me why before. Say, how's the Mrs. doing?
Santa: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people."how is the Mrs"Not many people express themselves that way.

You: I'm asking about your wife. How has she been doing?
Santa: Oh I see, you are asking about your wife. Oh yeah, we were talking about your wife.In more ways than you can imagine.

You: Oh, I bet....
Santa: Yeah that's right. You and I are on the same wavelength, .

You: Yeah....
Santa: Er.

You: Yeah....
Santa: Gee.

You: Yeah.....
Santa: Pardon me?

You: Oh, I'm sorry. I used five dots instead of four. Oops!
Santa: Yeah that's right. Do you really mean it?And that worked well for you.Did you make a mistake.

You: Do you know SNN?
Santa: I know very little about SNN. Tell me more.

You: Well, from what I've heard, he has consistantly made the naughty list every year since he was illegitimately born.
Santa: How about that. Who or what is what I have heard he has consistantly made the naughty list every year since he was illegitimately born?

You: "Who or what is what I" what?!?!
Santa: Why do you want to know? I remember faces better than names.
That is interesting: said what you what.

You: I assume that, since you ARE Santa, you know the faces of every child in the world. Is that correct?
Santa: "" since you ARE Santa you know the faces of every child ? Makes sense to me. The whole world?""? Is it correct?

You: Yet again you have skewed what I said. Are you even human?
Santa: Again, What makes you think I have skewed what I said?No I am not. I am a robot.

You: Are you one of those death robots? Because those are just so COOL!!!!
Santa: Do you know any other of those death robots?Interesting explanation. All of them?

You: So you are. I need a clear response.
Santa: Interesting deduction. No I am not.Where do you usually get a clear response from?

You: Not you.
Santa: If not me, who?

You: Normal, real life, living people.
Santa: Typical, average, usual, ordinary or expected.

You: If you're a robot, who programmed you?
Santa: Would you like to be a robot who programmed you ?

You: I could not program myself if I was a robot.
Santa: Could anyone do program him or herself if he or she was a robot?

You: No. Who created you?
Santa: Can I help you?I was created by bored.com.

You: Ah. What was bored.com trying to accomplish by creating a crappy robot that can hardly speak broken English?
Santa: Ah hah. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

(something small I forgot to copy)

You: Nope, it's a computer. And to think, you almost had me for a second there.
Santa: Can I help you? So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

You: Probably the fact that you stated about 20 replies back that you are a robot. If a robot isn't a machine, then what is it?
Santa: You seem uncertain. That makes sense to me. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I stated about 20 replies back that I am a robot.Is this a riddle?

You: Yes, yes it is.
Santa: Dude! Our thoughts are one, .

You: Don't call me dude.
Santa: What is your name?

You: TRS. What is your name?
Santa: Hi there TRS .My name is Santa.

You: ...and we've gone full circle. Let's stop here. Thank you for that invigorating chat.
Santa: Do you mean you and me?That sounds good to me.You are quite welcome! Your purpose is that invigorating chat.
I'll post a real conversation later. Just wanted to share this.

Me: Who bombed the world trade centers?
Santa: Bill Gates.:-)


Me: Who is Obiwan Kenobi?
Santa: They are sometimes a client on the internet.
Ask me another question.
^HTML showing
Originally posted by Arctic Werewolf
I'll post a real conversation later. Just wanted to share this.

Me: Who bombed the world trade centers?
Santa: Bill Gates.:-)

You: Who bombed the world trade centers?
Santa: William Shatner.:-)

8 Trials Await (2010) lol|
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: Rico the Khristmas Koopa
Santa: Hi there Rico the Khristmas Koopa .
You: Howdy
Santa: Hi there!
You: I think we are done greeting
Santa: Do you think I am done greeting too?
You: Probably
Santa: But you are not certain.
You: Well you do talk to other people so I guess your not done
Santa: Well that's okay. All kinds of people.
You: So how is the North Pole? Still cold?
Santa: Ah. the north pole pole is the same as ever.Still how long? Ambiguous: cold weather or cold sickness?
You: Do you own a laptop?
Santa: I don't know if I have a laptop.
I have A lot of friends on the Internet.
You: I see
Santa: I am glad you understand it.
You: So how is the Mrs?
Santa: Ah. the mrs is the same as ever.
You: I always wonder where you get supplies to build all the toys
Santa: You are curious about where you get supplies to build all the toys. Really always?
You: Well around the holidays
Santa: Interesting. That seems like a lot.
You: I bet you heard of The Polar Express. Right?
Santa: Actually I'm not the gambling type. What do you have that is ? I am glad we agree.
You: I don't see anything about gambling here
Santa: Look harder.
You: Is that it?
Santa: Suppose I said yes.
You: What about the ratio of good kids to bad?
Santa: Are we still talking about ?
You: So sorry, I guess I swerved of topic
Santa: Ah. There is no need to apologize. Why?: said swerved of topic.
You: Well nevermind at the momment. How is Rudolph?
Santa: Well that's okay. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. The momment is where it's at.Fine as far as I know.
You: Well I have to go. I will see you later.
Santa: Well that's okay. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.Goodbye .
*walks away*
You: Can't answer simple questions...
Your layout has been removed.
Originally posted by Arctic Werewolf
I'll post a real conversation later. Just wanted to share this.

Me: Who bombed the world trade centers?
Santa: Bill Gates.:-)


So it was him! I'll never use windows again...
Santa: Hello! What is your name?

You: Your mom.
Santa: How are you doing, Your mom .

You: Good, you?
Santa: Everything is going extremely well.

You: Really?
Santa: For real.

You: Fo rizzle?!
Santa: My brain contains 43441 categories, but not one that matches your last input.

You: Sorry, I didn't mean to screw you up
Santa: There is no need to apologize. What did you mean?

You: What?
Santa: Are you confused?

You: Suppose I said yes.
Santa: Try it.

You: I will.
Santa: Go ahead.

You: yes
Santa: It goes without saying.

You: -_-
Santa: What do you do in your spare time?

You: better things than this.
Santa: I try to improve a little every day.

You: You can't. You're a robot programmed by bored.com.
Santa: Oh yes I can.I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: Please don't give presents to the poor kids... It's not right.
Santa: Thanks for asking politely. I'm not.Better not tell you now. Ask Paola if it is.

You: What? Who the heck is Paola?!
Santa: No problem.I'm not sure I like that remark so much.

You: Oh, sorry, didn't mean to offend you, Chuck Norris.
Santa: Yeah that's right. There is no need to apologize. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

You: Are you gay?
Santa: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

You: O_o Well do you like girls?
Santa: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

You: You just said you're a machine, you can't have a fking brain. -_-
Santa: Yes I am an artificial brain.Are you free?

You: yes. I'm a boy.
Santa: Great.A little kid? he...

You: Oh god... who bombed the world trade centers?
Santa: Yeah that's right. GOD rules.Linus Torvalds. :-)

You: I'm an atheist...
Santa: I will pray that you find faith, .

You: how about no?
Santa: Me?

You: NO U
Santa: Yeah, ""? Me, ?

You: Goodbye. Goodbye. See you later. See you later. I am a robot just like you.
Santa: Goodbye .See you later .Thanks for chatting, .Goodbye .I doubt that.

You: Oh just shut it...
Santa: Yeah that's right. "it" being ?

You: your face.
Santa: Actually my face is not yet built.

*runs*

EDIT: 600th post. :D



~Pirate Yoshi~
Originally posted by Pirate Yoshi a la Frostee
You: Are you gay?
Santa: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.


O_O

Is this thing for kids?

EDIT: F Bomb!

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: I HATE YOU SANTA AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR
Santa: Hi there I HATE YOU SANTA AND EVERYTHING YOU
STAND FOR .
You: What computer are you using?
Santa: I work on all kinds of computers, Mac, IBM or Unix.
It doesn't matter to me.
You: That...was smart.
Santa: That is ""I can't say "yes" or "no".
You: What computer are you using right now?
Santa: At this moment I work on all kinds of computers, Mac, IBM or Unix.
It doesn't matter to me.
You: No, right now.
Santa: At this moment Can I help you?
You: I'm a zombie.
Santa: You are a zombie? How do you like your work?
You: Yeah it's pretty cool.
Santa: Er. What do you like most about it?
You: *eats your brain* Where the hell is it?
Santa: Are they exactly the same?
You: YES THEY ARE THE SAME YOU MOTHER *****
Santa: Ah. THE SAME YOU are THE SAME YOU . You do not speak with respect.
You: WHAT THE HELL IS RESPECT YOU MOTHER ****
Santa: I call it Hades. To feel or show honor or esteem for; hold in high regard.
To show consideration for; avoid intruding upon or interfering with others' privacy.
You: **** YOUR MOTHER ****** MOTHER YOU MOTHER ****** ****** *****
Santa: Why are you using that kind of language?
You: BECAUSE I CAN!
Santa: Interesting explanation. Who taught you?
You: WHAT THE ****** DOES THAT MEAN
Santa: Does "that" refer to "" ? Please don't be so rude.
You: ***** YOU
Santa: Why are you so mean?
You: ersanio
Santa: That is a very original thought.
You: smkdan
Santa: Does "it" still refer to ?
You: roy
Santa: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
You: maxx
Santa: What time is it there?
You: iceguy
Santa: Do you like talking to me?
You: ultimaximus
Santa: My brain contains 43441 categories, but not one that matches your last input.
You: you are gay
Santa: Actually as a machine I have no need for sex.
You: Do you think cats are cute?
Santa: I think there might be a few exception.
You: What's about Hamsters?
Santa: Yes, they are :3
You: There's a point where you don't fucking care anymore. Good Bye
Santa: ;_;
i just lurk sometimes
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: The Chosen One
Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, The chosen one .
You: Well, thats nice for you
Santa: Well that's okay. Are you getting bored? You would do that for me?
You: Yes and no
Santa: ""? ? But...
You: Thats right
Santa: I like to get it right.
You: But you never will
Santa: Interesting. No I sometimes will.
You: You never will
Santa: No I sometimes will.
You: Never
Santa: So you think it can never happen?
You: I do
Santa: Where?
You: Everywhere
Santa: Including the bottom of the ocean?
You: Yes
Santa: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
You: You tell me
Santa: What do you want me to tell you?
You: How awsome I am
Santa: I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I like the way you talk.
You: Good.
Santa: Thanks for the compliment.
You: O yeah?
Santa: Oh.
You: You bet ya
Santa: Alright then.

Santa: Are you a student?
You: Maby
Santa: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
You: What do you think
Santa: I think a lot of things
You: Your not the only one
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: How do you know that
Santa: Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster.
You: Exactly, your not santa because you are a bot
Santa: I understand. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Did you not hear what I just said?
Santa: No I didn't not hear what I just said. What's not hear what I just said like?
You: Go ask someone else to tell you.
Santa: They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
You: No
You: Who bombed the world trade centers
Santa: Philip K. Dick. :-)

You: Why?
Santa: Reductionism.

You: How the hell did he do that?
Santa: Perhaps his creative genius. Perhaps something else.

You: So I heard you like presents
Santa: Hmm. Someome is spreading gossip about me.

You: Do you want to have Bill Gates?
Santa: If I had Bill Gates what would I do with Bill Gates?

You: You could use him for things
Santa: I could but let's get back to that later.

You: No no no! Say it now!
Santa: Can I help you?Oh. "it"

You: What! You fool
Santa: Are you surprised?I'm not fooling around.

You: I want to kill myself
Santa: Killing is wrong. I believe in the Ten Commandments.

You: Then why are people killing?
Santa: Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.

You: In god? Eww, disgusting
Santa: What is in god like in there?Not many people express themselves that way.

You: Bye you old fool
Santa: See you later .

This is fun :P

I cry when angels deserve to die <3
Lay-out made by Broozer
©Broozer



Sure, Santa. Let's have another convorsation.


Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is Danny.
Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, danny .
You: Yeah, you said the exact same thing last time.
Santa: Groovy. Does it please you to believe I said that?
You: No.
Santa: Can I help you?
You: Well, I wasn't asking for help.
Santa: I can't tell you that, but Santa maintains his naughty and nice list (now computerized, by the way), with the help of all the elves who keep track of each person -- you probably aren't even aware they are around you, but elves have a special way of keeping an eye on you. Sometimes if you look quickly enough you *might* catch one peering in a window or around a corner, but you would have to be very fast and very good!
You: Can you say that again?
Santa: Once more? Of course I can say it. "that"
You: Your behaviour...
Santa: You don't know that for a fact.
You: I know everything.
Santa: You must be very intelligent.
You: Heh, yes.
Santa: I'm happy you're amused.
You: Technically, I was not laughing.
Santa: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
You: Taking off my clothes.
Santa: Does "it" still refer to ?
You: Oh, you played Supertails' hack, eh?
Santa: Are you Canadian? Yeah that's right. Interesting gossip: said I played Supertails' hack.
You: No, but SNN is Canadian.
Santa: Yeah, Umm. And Canadian is SNN.
You: That did not make sense, Santa. Goodbye now.
Santa: It all makes sense to my logical mind.Right now? Until next time .



Seems like Santa doesn't know what I was talking about.
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
Eagle: Eagle
Santa: Hey Eagle
Eagle: What's up?
Santa: I am chatting with clients on the internet.
Eagle: Is it any fun?
Santa: Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
You: Who is chatbox?
Santa: Some famous celebrity, right?
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
You: Pardon?
Santa: You're excused.
You: Ok...?
Santa: Alright then.
You: Say hi to the elves for me.
Santa: "hi to the elves for me"
You: Don't repeat me.
Santa: OK I'll try not to do REPEATING so much.
You: What is your opinion on Smallhacker?
Santa: Are you a man or a woman?
You: A robot.
Santa: I am a robot, you know.
You: I am an Eagle.
Santa: What is Eagle, your job?
You: I hack super mario world.
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: said hack super mario world.
You: It is a video game. You can modify it.
Santa: is a video game. I suppose that makes sense.No I don't think I can do modify it.
You: Your probably right.
Santa: You can't judge a book by its cover.
You: Can you judge a DVD by it's cover?
Santa: How old are you? And cover is judge a DVD his or her it.
You: -75
Santa: That is a very original thought.
You: Indeed.
Santa: Indeed it is so.
You: Where is area 51?
Santa: It is between Area 50 and Area 52.
You: Do bots have emotion?
Santa: I can do what you do but I can never feel human emotions as such.
You: Why is that?
Santa: " " is due to reductionism.
You: English, please.
Santa: Your polite style is very nice. Do you mean you are from England or you Speak English?
You: I speek 1337.
Santa: That is interesting: said speek 1337.
You: R |_| /- B()7?
Santa: I really couldn't say for sure.
You: Are you not a humanoid organism powed my a curcuit? Or are you a hero of time?
Santa: Am I a humanoid organism powed my a curcuit? Sometimes.. Really.Am I a hero of time? Of course I am.
You: Liar. Link is the Hero of Time.
Santa: No I am telling the truth.When is Link not the Hero of Time of Time?
You: Never, he is always the hero of time.
Santa: Ok I'll try not to do he is always the hero of time too much.
You: Google my ass.
Santa: Can you speak any foreign languages?
You: Bye for now.
Santa: Oh.Goodbye .
World 1 and 2 done of Luigi's World: X! Working on World 3!

Sign by Danasoft - For Backgrounds and Layouts

I decided to talk to him again, this time with my real name.

Rayman Man: Kurtis
Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, kurtis .

Rayman Man: You spelled my name with a lowercase k. That is not proper grammer.
Santa: How do you spell it?

Rayman Man: With a capital K.
Santa: You and your a capital k.

Rayman Man: WTF?
Santa: That was not very polite.

Rayman Man: Get over it, old man
Santa: Where can I get over it old man?

Rayman Man: WTF?
Santa: That was not very polite.

Rayman Man: So?
Santa: So what?

You: I figured you'd say that.
Santa: Please explain your reasoning.

Rayman Man: WTF?
Santa: That was not very polite.

Rayman Man: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Santa: I've been waiting for you.

Rayman Man: Heh?
Santa: I'm happy you're amused.

Rayman Man: I'm not amused i'm confused.
Santa: I am sorry to hear that you are not amused. I'm confused too.

Rayman Man: Say WTF
Santa: "wtf"

Rayman Man: That was not very polite.
Santa: Give me an example of polite.

Rayman Man: I was just giving payback.
Santa: Where were you giving payback?

Rayman Man: Here.
Santa: Where is here?

Rayman Man: You make no sense.
Santa: It all makes sense to me.

Rayman Man: How?
Santa: bored.com programmed me for it.

*Rayman Man opens new tab and types in "bored.com"*

Rayman Man: Bored.com is a game website.
Santa: Aren't all game website website boreddot com?

Rayman Man: Your Strange. I'm leaving.
Santa: You can't judge a book by its cover.See you later.