The harsh winter night crept upon the Mushroom Kingdom. All of the streets were virtually deserted, leaving nothing to satisfy the hunger of the biting cold. Yet, in the Mushroom Kingdom's heart lies a castle booming with life.
The Central, as the local Toads have taken to calling it, was a fairly new castle, but impressive even compared to Princess Peach's, for it was enormous and filled with all kinds of people and rooms of entertainment. Those living in this glorious castle were referred to as the Centralites.
Many Centralites were gathered around the fireplace in one of the largest rooms in the whole castle, with stockings in hand. They orderly pinned them up... at least, for the most part.
Sonikku pinned up his stocking next to his friend Morgan's. Slash Man, not caring where his went, pinned his next to Sonikku's.
"Aww, I wanted to put MINE there!" sighed Jimmy52905. Slash Man laughed, and Sonikku uttered some unintelligible jibberish.
Smallhacker pinned up a pillow case. "I get the biggest stocking because I am the most important," he said smugly as he folded his arms and nodded. Weeabuu spread his right hand and slapped himself in the face, and a few other people rolled their eyes.
Alcaro dragged in a laundry basket. "Sorry Smalls, I'm more important than you!"
Smallhacker took out a large mallet, and like in a game of golf, swung it at Alcaro and sent him flying into the air. He plopped down into the empty laundry basket. With a second mighty swing, Smalls slammed the basket across the floor - Centralites scrambled to clear a path as Alcaro went sliding along at blazing speed towards the laundry chute. When the basket hit the wall, poor Alcaro went tumbling down, and landed in a pile of filthy clothes.
Some Centralites were in awe at how Smalls could do such a thing, others were laughing hysterically. A few didn't care at all and proceeded to hang their stockings. After a while, the entire room's wall was lined with stockings of the hundreds of Centralites.
One stocking, however, was missing in the sea of socks. The stocking of the king of the castle, Kieran Menor, was nowhere to be seen, but not an eye in the room could tell.
Just a moment past 10 o'clock, the room was empty. The fire had gone dead. The tick-tock of the clocks in the house could be heard pristinely. Every Centralite had gone to their rooms, but many were still awake.
On the fifth floor of the castle, first room on the left, was the dorm of Mue and Captain Pissweak. Their beds were several feet apart, with a small table between them against the wall. On the table were several books and a glass of water.
Mue picked up this water and took a small sip. "Hey..." he spoke under his breath.
Captain Pissweak was reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. He did not make a gesture showing his attention, but surely did want to hear what Mue had to say.
Mue continued, "...do you think Santa Claus is real?"
Captain Pissweak retorted, "No."
"Well, then, all he'll leave you is a lump of coal."
Further down the hallway, Megafonzie and Blumiere were discussing their Minecraft projects amongst each other.
"It would be super-cool if we made Central in Minecraft," Megafonzie told Blumiere.
"It would be super-cool if my laptop didn't overheat when I played Minecraft," Blumiere responded.
"It would be super-cool if you got a cooling pad for Christmas."
Next flight of stairs leads to the dormitory of Moltensnow and Mario's Personal Agent. Both were sound asleep.
Across the hall from them were Atma and KilloZapit. Moltensnow and Mario's Personal Agent were somehow able to sleep through their loud ruckus!
Leod and Weeabuu were a few dorms down, talking about Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt. They had no doubt in their minds that it would be renewed for a second season, and hoping to get a box set of the show with all sorts of extra goodies.
Up another level of stairs, Aquifer was watching Counterfeit eagerly configure a new kernel, while he couldn't be more bored by the process.
"Install Windows 7," Aquifer said. Counterfeit responded by throwing an empty water bottle at him.
Lucas had just finished telling Supertails about his SMWCMon progress, and speculating over when the next Touhou game is going to be announced. They both agreed on "some time in spring" and fell asleep... or at least, Supertails pretended to.
Supertails had a secret nobody in the Central knew. When Lucas was snoring, Supertails slowly reached his foot out from under the blanket and placed it so gently on the floor, that it did not even make the slightest creaking. He did the same with his other foot, and tiptoed at barely a snail's pace towards the window.
He tried to pass by Lucas's bed with extreme caution. Approaching the halfway mark, Lucas spoke some nonsense in his sleep.
"Fetus go take a shower! ...Thunderbolt!" he slurred.
Supertails gasped and jumped back, and Lucas opened his eyes.
"What are you doing?!" Lucas asked, startled.
"I was um..." Supertails paused to think of an excuse. "I felt a draft! ...Yeah! So I wanted to make sure this window... was shut... all the way?"
Lucas nodded slowly, dark bags under his eyes. In an instant, his head plopped down and he started snoring loudly again. Supertails proceeded to the window once more.
Pushing his hands against the bottom of the window, Supertails slowly slid it open until the window would not rise anymore. He jumped out into the freezing sky and spun his tails, until he flew out of sight.
Lucas again awoke. "...Okay Supertails, now I'm really feeling that dra-"
He looked around. Supertails was nowhere to be found.
"Supertails?" Lucas called.
The window was left wide open.
"You bastard!" Lucas stomped over to the window and slammed it down to stop the chilly wind from blowing in, and stole the other blankets off of Supertails's bed.
Meanwhile, far far away from the Mushroom Kingdom, Supertails flew through blizzards with great confidence. Amidst the fog shone some yellow blurs. A little closer, and the silhouette of a house and candy canes became clear. Supertails would land here.
Supertails knocked on the door in the tune of Shave and a Haircut, and from the other side came two more knocks. An elderly man in boxers answered the door.
"HelloOOOOOOOPS," the man said, "I thought you were my wife!" and shut the door abruptly. A minute later, he reappeared in a warm red suit. "My deepest regrets, Supertails..."
"It's okay," Supertails nervously tried to assure the man. "It's almost time."
"That's right. Have a warm drink before we load up the sleigh, and we'll mosey on out of here!"
Inside the house, the first room was a relaxing old log cabin room with clean rugs and soft couches, an old-fashioned stove with boiling water, and the rich smell of hot chocolate wafting from the ceramic mugs on the table.
Supertails stepped inside and sat down for a spot of hot cocoa. He needed something to prepare him for his big task of helping Santa Claus deliver presents, and to get his mind off of the horrible vision of Santa in boxers.
The next room was a whole different world -- a massive warehouse with sleeping elves all over the floor, exhausted from working. The nasty stench of sweat was almost overbearing. Santa sprayed the room with some Lysol before Supertails was ready to enter.
In the corners of the warehouse room were large bags everywhere filled with pre-wrapped presents, with the names of boys and girls from all around the world. It was nerve-wrecking to carelessly lean against a bag, because the center of balance was so delicate that several bags would tumble over and spill their contents.
"Alright!" Supertails entered the room with enthusiasm... but when he saw the many bags, his enthusiasm faded into slight confusion.
"Well," Santa began, "one of these bags goes to the Mushroom Kingdom. I'm not sure where it is."
"Maybe it's the red bag with white spots."
Supertails noticed about twenty red bags with white spots, some of them underneath others. He flew up to the highest bag he could find which was not under any. "...Turkmenafghanipakistanfrancisco?"
He methodically lifted bags off of the top of each section of bags. Some of them were incredibly heavy and hard to get a reliable grip on, so Supertails tied the openings of the heavier bags around his right hand to ensure a mess is not made.
"Aha! Found it!" Supertails lifted the Mushroom Kingdom bag over to Santa.
"Alright, I'll show you to the sleigh now." Santa led Supertails back through the comfortable room and outside into the night. The fog cleared by then, allowing the snow to reflect the light of the full moon's glow. Santa had no trouble moving around to the back of the workshop, where he kept a reindeer stable. The stable was empty, however.
Santa had one sleigh parked under a tarp in a makeshift garage next to the reindeer stable, with enough space to fit seven or eight. Without Supertails's volunteer to help Santa, Christmas may have never come to the Mushroom Kingdom this year.
Supertails dropped the enormous bag into the sleigh, and at that moment, a new figure appeared. He was very short, had long ears, and a goofy nose that pointed upwards towards the tip.
"This is Bogey," Santa explained. "He may look kind of funny, but he's a pretty cool guy. He'll be accompanying you tonight to help deliver the presents, and in case anything bad happens."
Bogey ran over to the sleigh almost as though he were doing an Irish jig, then jousted himself over the door with one hand and sat down. He grinned widely, and his buck teeth sparkled.
Supertails picked up the handle at the front of the sleigh, and asked "Are you ready to go, Bogey?"
"Abso-dupetably!" Bogey responded.
With confirmation, Supertails pushed. The rope straightened tightly and the sleigh proved much too heavy for Supertails alone to get any sort of momentum started. He knew Santa needed the reindeer to take the other sleighs around the world soon, so Bogey offered Supertails a jetpack that he made but no kid wished for.
Supertails accepted the jetpack and put it on. "Okay, so now to start it, do I press this --" As soon as he had pressed it, a deafening WHOOSH summoned a rise of blinding snow from the ground, and they were nowhere to be seen as the snow settled.
"H-h-h-owwww d-d-d-doooo I s-s-stop-p-p-p th-this c-c-c-crazy th-th-thingggg," Supertails tried to communicate, but the powerful wind and the cold air made him too jittery.
Meanwhile, in the back, Bogey cheered. "Waaaaaahoooooooooooooo!!"
In under a minute, the jetpack ran out of power. Gravity began pulling the sleigh downward, but did not slow their amazing speed. The sleigh zoomed right into an embankment of snow at the Mushroom Kingdom with a big poof.
Bogey emerged from the snow, excited and smiling. Supertails popped up, looking like an icicle. His teeth were chattering uncontrollably.
There wasn't much time to be wasted. It was already 3 AM, and the children of the Mushroom Kingdom would be waking up soon to check under the tree. Bogey picked up Supertails and marched into Central to find a hair dryer to thaw him with.
The doors opened, but they certainly weren't welcoming. A crowd of Centralites stared menacingly at the little funny elf, holding the stockings stuffed by some of the Central's staff members while they were sleeping. Lucas was at the front of the pack.
"Running away to spend the night with little elf men again, Supertails?" Lucas teased.
"That's c-c-c-c-cold of you, Lucas," Supertails replied with wit.
"I'll be taking that," Lucas said as he swiped Supertails from Bogey's hands and exited the lobby to place him next to a recently-lit fireplace.
"What the hell is going on," head honcho Kieran interrogated.
"Bogey and Supertails are bringing Christmas presents from Santa's workshop!" Bogey announced, unaffected by the very serious atmosphere.
"And where are these presents?"
"One moment!" Bogey darted out the door and back to the sleigh, and pulled the bag with all his might. Everyone was getting cold and aggravated, but Bogey pulled it back in time before they'd finally lost it.
He reached inside a bag, and pulled out a present for Tormentor2.
"IT'S A BOMB, HE'S TRYING TO BLOW UP THE CENTRAL!" an alarmist shouted. Pockets of light laughter resonated among the crowd.
"Shush," Kieran ordered. Bogey handed him the present, and Kieran shook it. Kieran nodded, and threw it over to Tormentor2.
Quizler and BusterBeetle were standing next to Tormentor2, speculating over what it was. They knew by the shape that it had to be a video game. Tormentor2 tore the wrapping paper off to reveal a new Pokemon game.
The crowd began to get restless.
"Where's my present?"
"Did I get anything?"
"Clearly the rest of the presents are mine," Smallhacker said.
"Relax guys," spoke a thawed Supertails. "There's something in there for everyone as far as I know, but --"
The Centralites began rummaging through the bag for presents, throwing aside the ones that didn't have their name on it.
"Stop that now," Kieran demanded. "How do you know you're not breaking somebody else's gift? Stand away from the bag. S.N.N., you can hand them out."
S.N.N. walked over to the bag and reached in, pulling one package and calling the name of the person it belonged to. "Riolu180."
Riolu180 walked to the front of the crowd to receive his gift. Although he had much anticipation built up, he tried not to show his feelings too much in case he was disappointed. When he began opening his present, any restriction on his emotions failed.
"YESSS!" he shouted in glee. "I got the Klonoa game I was looking for!"
S.N.N. reached in for another gift. "SnakeEater."
SnakeEater received and opened his gift. "Mac OS X?! Huh?! I wanted rope..."
Next present. "Neutron."
Neutron was thrilled to receive a new Nintendo Wii because it's his first next-gen console.
The next gift did not belong to anybody inside Central, so S.N.N. set it aside to place back in the bag when all were sorted through. He pulled out a different present in its place. "Kadyastar."
Kadyastar got not one, but two bottles of patron.
Mue received coal. "What..."
Captain Pissweak received diamonds. Mue shouted even louder. "WHAT?!"
He got a large Firefox plushie.
The handing out of gifts lasted many hours, and when there were none more left that belonged to the Centralites, Supertails and Bogey set out to bring the remaining gifts to the people in the Mushroom Kingdom awaiting them.
It was 8 in the morning when all of Mushroom Kingdom's gifts reached their destination, and very few could be upset about the delayed delivery.
After all, it is Christmas...
Santa arrived with an empty sleigh and sixteen reindeer that morning.
"Thank you, Supertails, for all your help with the Mushroom Kingdom route," he said graciously. "The rest of the deliverymen have just finished now and all my reindeer have returned, so I am able to take the sleigh back from here."
Santa held the sleigh handles up to the reindeer, and they took them with their mouths, ready to hoist the sleigh up and away. With a wave goodbye, Santa and Bogey took off. "Ho, ho, ho!" echoed through the air.
However, Christmas wasn't quite complete. There were two people who had not received presents: Kieran and marioVSshadow.
Kieran sighed. "Well, it wouldn't be fair if marioVSshadow was left out... I'll be right back." So he walked up several flights of steps -- all the way to the top -- and into the mysterious Top Secret Area. There, he picked out something special.
marioVSshadow had been waiting for fifteen minutes for Kieran's return, but it could have been all worth it. Kieran appeared with his hands behind his back.
"Okay, marioVSshadow," Kieran began. "I believe this is something you have been wanting for a very long time. I trust you with it now, and believe you can do well with it."
At this point, marioVSshadow was ecstatic. He had a strong feeling about what it was. Kieran moved his arms from behind his back to reveal the endowment. marioVSshadow's jaw dropped.
"What is it...?" he asked.
"A staff," Kieran said.
marioVSshadow fell to the floor. Kieran left the staff in marioVSshadow's hands and joined some of the other staff members in the kitchen to prepare Christmas dinner.
Neutron hooked up his new Nintendo Wii in his dorm, and invited people in to play. Most people were interested in their new gifts, but Riolu180 and Kadyastar were happy to join Neutron. Riolu180 brought in Mario Kart Wii so they could all play it together. Kadyastar was feeling a little drunk off of the patron, and kept crashing into Riolu180.
SnakeEater found somebody who wanted OS X to trade with and received a $30 gift certificate to an electronics store, so he too ended up satisfied.
All seemed well. The staff members left the kitchen unattended for a while to see how everybody was doing and if they were enjoying their gifts. From room to room, everybody seemed to be getting along, some even taking interest in the simple stocking stuffers like candy and deodorant.
"It sure is nice to see everyone like this," Supertails commented.
"It would be lovely if every day were like this," S.N.N. added.
Dotsarecool skimmed through some songs he put on his new iPod and found an upbeat holiday tune to put on. Quickly, he rushed up to the Top Secret Area. He played the song over the intercom to catch everyone offguard with some additional fun.
While everyone was getting their groove on, Azure approached the staff in terror. Raibys immediately adverted his attention to her.
"The kitchen is on fire!" Azure alerted.
This was no joke, either. A smell of smoke did seep into the corridors, and with that, Raibys pulled the nearest fire alarm and yelled to everybody to get out. Dotsarecool, however, was all the way up in the Top Secret Area.
Everybody ran panicked, shoving each other, trying to reach the exit. The castle lobby was filling up with people fast. Just then, marioVSshadow got an idea. He hustled with his staff towards the kitchen, which was already completely engulfed with flames.
Jet-black smoke poured out of the kitchen door, and fire was creeping onto the walls of the corridor leading to the kitchen. marioVSshadow held his breath, and wished with all his might that this would just be the best Christmas ever, like it was before this disaster. He raised the staff with his right hand, and swished it to the left with mighty vigor.
The fire began to glow gold, and became a whirlwind of brilliant dust. Slowly, it spun into a bright light, and formed a curvy figure. The light faded and the dust vanished, and a woman in a beautiful dress stood in front of the charred remains of the kitchen. In her hand, she held a suitcase.
Kieran charged after marioVSshadow. "ARE YOU INSANE, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?!" he shouted in concern. But then, he noticed that the fire was completely gone. The kitchen was slowly regenerating, too. "...It looks like I was right to trust you with that staff," he said in a much more calm and collected manner.
The woman approached Kieran and handed him the suitcase. As Kieran glanced to see her face, the woman dissolved into the air, and flowed back into the kitchen. The shining particles reassembled atop the tables and stoves as tablecloths, oven mitts, tupperware, and the food that was unattended - but fully cooked!
Kieran was bewildered by this strange miracle.
Meanwhile, nobody was aware that the nightmare had ended, and everyone was still scrambling to get out of the castle. Snapping back into reality, Kieran told Dotsarecool via walkie-talkie to announce over the intercom that there is no longer any danger, because he was the closest to Top Secret Area.
Half the Centralites were already standing outside in their pajamas, out of breath, when the news broke. Much to everyone's relief, the danger was over. Freezing their buttocks off, everybody made their way back in.
The smoke all cleared out of the air with the magic, and the rich smell of the Christmas dinner had replaced it. The scent of succulent turkey and ham relaxed the Centralites after their frightening ordeal.
Kieran entered the lobby with the suitcase handed to him by the illusionary woman. In front of everybody, he opened it to reveal...
...$10,000 in USD.
Everybody looked at each other with growing smiles on their faces. This meant Kieran could finally get the new server everybody was waiting for and then some, and more importantly, Kieran was not left out of Christmas.
Perhaps it was the karma of his selfless act of giving away one of his magic staves to somebody who was accidentally forgotten that resulted in such a great reward.
The ground began to shake violently.
"Oh no, not again..." Azure thought.
Suddenly, the castle was uprooted! Central moved higher and higher into the atmosphere, situated atop Bowser's flying castle!
Bowser roared in laughter. "Princess Peach is finally mine!" He jumped into his clown car and flew out of the window of his own castle only to see his mistake. ".............Fungah! Foiled again!"
Princess Peach looked out the window of her castle and witnessed the debacle. She and Mario toasted and giggled, and sipped their champagne to celebrate this moment and Christmas Day.
Just look above you...
If it's something that can be stopped, then just try to stop it!