Well, I guess it's a bit better than before, but you still have the problem of bland level design. There's not a lot of interesting ideas in it, and for the most part it's just some jumping challenges.
In addition, here are a few other problems:
Bad palettes: the cement blocks and muncher are too similar to the background, and look really weird anyway (plus, the fact that it's just a few cement blocks and a muncher). Mario's palette is also rather bad, though it's more noticeable when he's spinning. Even though it's a title screen, you should still follow the normal guidelines of hacking. It's the first thing a player sees, so it shouldn't turn them away from the hack.
"The dreams of he is very" isn't exactly proper English. ^^;
Should be "His dreams are very". The story doesn't really make much sense, either. Also, more bad palettes (flashing ground, blocks), and it's a rather bland intro.
Floating munchers (with bad palette included). You should replace them with something else using Map16. Second, the black blocks don't exactly look like ground. A lot of hacks tend to use that color as replacement munchers, so it seems more like a death block at first glance. In addition, you can easily get a shell from the Koopas, though you have no use for it.
What is even the point of this guy? You jump once and he's stuck.
The bottom of the goal is glitched. Just cover them up with the ground.
Other than that, the level's not especially notable. There's some Bullet Bill jumps, Spiny jumps, and a few Parakoopas, but otherwise it's entirely just munchers and a few solid blocks.
In future hacks, I recommend trying out some new ideas; experiment with sprites other
than the standard ones, create a few puzzles, use old ideas in new ways. Even in Kaizo hacks, your levels shouldn't be made almost entirely out of one block and a few sprites.
Oh, also, it's not usually good to make such short hacks. Most one-level Kaizo hacks take around ten minutes even when TASed, so one that can be done in less than a minute isn't too good as a standalone hack. Try making multiple levels into a single hack.
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