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SCP-914: The Clockworks

This machine is a device of unknown origin, stored in a lab facility specializing in creatures and items of otherworldly nature. You are safe from monsters and everything in the facility. All the SCP's are contained and inaccesible but this one machine. You can play with this machine though! No one's looking!

What this machine does is take anything (even people and animals, but that's not safe to put in) in one chamber. And according to the dial, it can turn it into something else! Sometimes an upgrade, sometimes a downgrade, but it keeps the properties or "unphysical personality" of the original item.

There are 5 settings. Rough, Coarse, 1:1, Fine, and Very Fine. But no one knows what effects these settings have on items. It is advised to treat precious things with care by setting it on one of the fine settings.

With that said, put anything in and set the dial to one of the settings. And say it like this:


(any item)

And the machine can turn anything you want into something else!

Rules: You can put anything in it, but only once per post. You may post again after I rate your previous output, but not so much the staff takes notice.

I dictate what is in the output. Outputs are random, so don't be mad at me if it doesn't turn out the way you wanted. :P

Don't put in the same thing over and over. Yes, the result would be different at times but have variety!
Setting - Rough.

Pokey Mushroom.

Am I did right?
Output: You can see an empty ? Block. Inside seems to be a real Pokey's head. It is slow so you escape it.

Danger Rating: Slightly dangerous.
Setting: Rough

Input: a fighter jet and a sandvich

why not
Output: A block of metal, a piece of bread in a smaller block, and a stack of turkey slices cut in squares next to it. The metal seems to be made of the same type as the fighter jet.

Rating: Safe
Setting: Normal (1:1)

Input: Rose and a knife.

This oughta be interesting.
Output: One knife is found inside the chamber. But while the knife is metal, the handle is plantlike. Unfortunately there are barbs on it. You obviously handle it with gloves. The knife part seems to have a very peculiar effect on human skin besides just cutting, causing mass swelling to your opponent's cut when attacking with it. ....After it becomes handlable, as the barbs can be removed as with any rose.

Danger Rating: Severely dangerous in the wrong hands.
Alright...not at all how I thought it would turn out. Not bad though.

Erm...Setting: Course

Input: Timer BIM and a gold bar.
Output: It is dangerous to put an explosive in the machine, as the machine can have hostile properties involving living beings and things that could go off. In the output, you see a solid gold cube with no buttons on it, and a plastic cover where it shows a countdown timer. The countdown is counting down from 10. There is no way to turn it off. When the countdown ends, it explodes the room, killing you. But thankfully you respawn to use the machine another time.

Danger Rating: Severely dangerous and ill-advised
Setting: 1:1

Item: Wacom Bamboo drawing tablet + pen
aran - Graces of Heaven
This looks fun.

Setting: Coarse
Item: Plastic bag inside a paper bag

e: dammit ninja
Check out my music!
GN's Output: A Genius Mousepen tablet with respective pen for it.

Rating: Safe

Moose's Output: A paper bag labelled "Plastic" inside a plastic bag labelled "Paper"

Rating: Safe
Well shit, I was the first one to be killed. Hm.

Setting: Rough

Input: A knife (yay more knives), sand and salt water.
Output: You can discern that the knife has been decimated into grains. possibly from lasers. However, you do see soft scupltures made of salt and sand respectively. They do not provide much harm when attacking, and would most likely break. They would however cause slight discomfort in the opponent before snapping apart.

Danger Rating: Very slight chance of harm.
Slight chance of harm? The first item I've made that has that effect.
Let's revisit another item (other than the knife).

Setting: 1:1

Input: Rose, blood and a rifle.
Output: A lily appears, as well as a pile of blood. Though it looks unchanged, it is in actuality a different blood type. Also, a dagger is seen on the puddle of blood.

Rating: Dangerous in the wrong hands

Good items people might want to put through this:
Documents, homework, books, DVD's, custom CD's with files on them (like hacks!), movies, etc.
Alright, well if you say so...

Setting: Coarse

Input: CD with the first season of "Shinryaku! Ika Musume".
Output: A copy of the DVD in VHS format. It is interesting how this video is in VHS. It even has a label in the middle specifically designed for the title. With Ika Musume's face and the title adorning the label sticker in the middle of the tape. It is unfortunate that VHS tapes are outdated, and it is now impossible to get your CD back...

Rating: Safe
Hey, that's fine, considering that I have a VCR.

Setting: Rough
Input: Luca

This'll be fun.
Input: SMW's default ? block with eyes behind the ?
Setting: Course