Strong language warning.
Response to: http://smwc.me/t/69379
I've been witnessin' some lady trouble on the forums and irc the past hour and some users have been askin' me for the advice on the women. It seems like a lot of you all, especially in the IRC channel, need a little help. Well, here I am, with my rules I wrote down in the best notebook for your nappy-headed hoe problems: my Bitch Booklet.
We got all the rules and precautions, don't even worry, Anthony's gotchu.
Rule #1: If she thirsty, give that bitch some water.
"What does thirsty mean?" Well, start here.
No one likes a thirsty hoe. If the want for your boink has her sounding drier than the Sahara Desert, you need to call 9-1-1 and get her some Aquafina ASAP. If her want for sex is more apparent than the sun on a clear day, you need to take her to the beach and give her a baptism.
Rule #b: Class with the ass.
When you're tryna pick up a nice girl, and you lookin' for a nice bod, make sure you don't become the thirsty one. When you walk up to a woman, don't stare at the butt wit a face like it's the first piece a' meat you've seen in seventeen years. Be cool, calm, collected. Most of all, be discreet if you're trying to check her out. If you do it wrong, she'll snatch you so fast that yo future baby's gonna come out cryin'. Walk around, see the ass, let outa little "daaaaamn" to yourself if it look good, and walk back. If she got that literal badass, the one that look like school lunch meatloaf, stop, drop, and hell no. However, keep in mind you don't want an ass that look like it could come alive n' swallow you whole at any time. And, ALWAYS remember, if that bitch can't twerk, send that hoe out of your house and straight into work.
Rule #✯: Don't hate a player, pop a cap in their ass.
This one's all about the hating niggas. If you tryna holla' at a girl, and some other guy tryna holla' at the same girl right afterwards, don't take that shit. Walk the hell up on him, lay it out for his ass, and if he is trying to play the gangsta/rap game, show him you ain't no fucknigga. This one's short: you should know how you do.
These three basic rules will have you able to grab any hoe. If you're still havin issues, leave a holla' down below and I'll hit you up with the supplements. Stay fresh, my nigga.