Noivern tri-necrotic-touches for 8 FP, dealing (31) damage, deathmarking, eating deathmark to deal (62*) damage, deathmarking, eating deathmark to deal (62*) damage and then deathmarking for the last time.
Lucas plays UNO with the Ripper. It's just as bad as always.
LHB uses Invalid Object for 5FP! Impetus is actually Cursed!
Zek uses Magnet pull, consuming Deathmark and dealing (33*) damage! Literally Impetus is deleted.
Ultima Necrotic Touches for good measure, though this would have killed if Zek happened to miss.
"... Yeah, I mean, I suppose I should have expected this thing would suck. But wait until you nerds see what I have next! I copied the amalgamation project player data of one of you little friends. White, spikey. That's right, your buddy Lightvayne. The most powerful entity the project has ever seen, so powerful, he destroyed a world in mere moments, achieved the highest level, and forced the Amalgamation Daemons to quarantine him to the darkest reaches! Once I finish installing his data into this AR system, you nerds will be sorry you even came here."
Everyone levels up, and has their HP/FP fully restored. Weirdly, Literally Impetus didn't drop any coins or items.
And then Fred Fucks summoned Bubsy. And the fight sucked. And the updates were on discord for a while but stopped for another year effectively.
And then, without warning (outside of a scathing insult from Noivern), bubsy dies.
"WARNING. CRITICAL ANOMALY DETECTED WITHIN THE AR SYSTEM. ENDING SIMULATION."
"WHAT? No, ABORT. ABORT SHUT DOWN. I can't fight if you turn the fucking simulation off, you stupid machine!"
"ABORTING SHUTDOWN. CRITICAL ANOMALY CAUSING MAJOR DAMAGE TO THE AR SYS- ERROR- SYSTEM CONTROL ENDED."
Reality around you seems to warp as the simulation begins to haze and falter, bending, peeling away and revealing a void of binary and vectors that it hurts your brains to process. Then, it stabilizes, and a new figure stands in the center of the simulation, with striking blue hair, a plain blue hoodie and joggers. Who the fuck is this?
"Blue? What the fuck are you doing here."
Yeah, what the fuck is he doing here?
"Quit the shit Fucks. You know exactly why I'm here. You left the Amalgamation Project, and thank god, because as far as I can tell 90% of the bugs in it were your fucking fault. Then you sided with some maniac who INTRUDED into our own project from god knows what universe, and now you're helping him completely obliterate a metaphysically adjacent universe in a way which threatens basically everything else around it. Wasn't it bad enough that the project was such a shitshow that it not only caused endless suffering for everyone inside, but threatened worlds outside too? Wasn't it bad enough just having one intruder, without basically giving the entire neighborhood a heads up that there was this cool new place to invade because god knows the endless portal experiments into the project from this universe and it's sibling universe's various alternate timelines has been driving me up the wall trying to stay on top of it all. Did it not suffice to steal OUR data and use it for your own, worthlessly shitty designs. Yes, I saw your bootleg amalgamation project with that 'Digimon' world that collapsed into itself immediately. Your code is so nonsensical, bug riddled I'm amazed you've managed anything functional here, but wait, you haven't, you just bodged some machines onto some magical pyramid and called that your original code. When we were assembling the team, I have no idea how anyone thought you stupid augmented reality escapade you programmed warranted you to be on the team, and in fact given how worthless everything you have contributed since has been, I'm unsure you were even responsible for it in the first place? Did you lie? Did someone else do it for you? Well it would have been fucking great to know who did, and they could have been on the team instead! How you fooled that interloper into letting you help him is beyond me. Why you decided to is even further beyond me. What exactly do you have to gain from this destruction? Are you just that spiteful? It's over, Fucks. Activating that Bubsy code was your biggest mistake, and now it's end of line for you. Yes, I'm angry."
"And then Blue left because nobody really knows who he is, or cares, and he isn't supposed to be here, and his rant meant nothing to anyone."
"Oh, look. The mouthpiece is talking. If I knew we were setting up the project near a fickle fucking god, I'd have moved the location. She's the reason for the other 10% of the bugs. You've heard of cosmic rays? Flipping bits? Causing computer crashes? That cosmic bitch is like the cosmic ray crash of reality. As soon as she starts looking at something, that's basically a fucking death sentence. Most beings might not notice the disruption, but oh boy is it there. Reality is basically pissing it's pants trying to recover itself, looking for excuse after fix after band-aid. Why doesn't she come down here too so I can give her a piece of my mind. She might think she's invincible, but she's still fucking fictional. She has to obey the rules."
"I mean, if you insist. But it's not really me that's responsible. It's a complex metaphysical arrangement.
"Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on that. We all know why you're causing these issues."
A being of stars with rainbow crystal wings appears.
"Yeah I look really stupid when you write it that simply. Just makes me seem cringy.
Let's just try to salvage this trash heap, shall we.
"Anyway, Blue. Your observations of reality and the patterns that formed have clearly lead you to the conclusion that reality is fictional. But that's not entirely true, metaphysically speaking. Or at least, not within a strict definition of fictional. A reality adhering to the rules of fiction is simply adhering to the rules of it's own reality. That doesn't necessarily make it false, even if it is observed in different ways within different universes. You obviously believe you have free will, even though you believe you are fictional and therefore that someone is writing what you say and making you do what you do. The presumption, then, is that you believe you have free will when outside of view, but not otherwise. The mistake in that thinking is the sheer innumerable amount of universes means by necessity every single thing that happens in any given universe is being observed by multiple parties from both the perspective of being both real and fictional simultaneously."
"So none of us have free will? So none of it matters? I've wondered. After all, everything is like code. Rules. Values... If everything obeys those rules, there's no choice, no free will."
"Well, once someone has done something, it's easy to say it was the only action they could have taken because you can see their reasoning. But in fact, that would cut both ways, regardless of their actions."
"You know, the way you talk is kind of giving me a headache, and I'm not sure why."
"Alright, fine, I'll talk like this."
"Let me give you an example. There's a guy, let's call him Jim. Jim really wants to go to his friend's birthday party, because they're close and he cares about them a lot. However, Jim just got a callback for a big interview that might result in a job he really wants. Both are scheduled at the same time, and he can't attend both or do one and then be late for the party because the travel time would make it impossible. What choice would Jim make?"
"That depends on his priorities, doesn't it? I don't see the point of the question, everything in his life would lead up to giving him a set of priorities which then informs his decision. So he has no free will in it, even if you say he has a choice. Even if you blame it on... randomness built into reality, it's still not a choice, is it? It's not something he had control over, causal or not."
"I mean, are control and choice the same thing? Even if you had control over everything, wouldn't you still lack choice by your standards?"
"Now you're just being a pedant and jerking off."
"Yeah, okay. But what I mean is, isn't determinism as much of an illusion as choice is? Regardless of which option Jim picked, you could retroactively say 'this was the only choice for Jim because he cared about his friend' or 'this was the only choice for Jim because he cared about his career'. When you look at the past, choices appear not to have existed because it's the nature of intelligent beings to want to form a concrete line from the past to the present, just as it is to want to believe the future holds infinite paths spreading outwards. We only exist in the present, and all experience or predictions are, by necessity, detached from that, as it's impossible to truly perceive the true nature of reality which lacks time entirely."
"Now you're really jerking off. Besides, isn't this asshat a time traveler? Does your meandering philosophizing explain that?"
"I mean, time travel is a concept which first has to be built into the rules of the universe it is being performed within, and even then, it merely takes you to... a different present."
"... Seems like bullshit that answers none of my origina- you're just doing this to distract me aren't you."
"Holy shit shut the fuck up nobody cares about this philosophical trash you fucking lowlife loser!"
In a haze of Clockwork Time Magic, Latukas appears through a temporal vortex, making this already crowded simulation a full party of unwelcome company.
The Lakitu? poses dramatically.
"Ah, Blue. The man who so rudely spurned my requests to aid him in his work. The man who inspired a large portion of my plan, and enabled me to rule this universe. Nice of you to show up, so I can finally thank you. I wasn't expecting your presence, but now you're here, the Golden Compass has fully re-calibrated. There's nothing you can do to outsmart me."
"Hah, the villain in hero's clothing himself arises. You really are an idiot. I'll make this quick, for the sake of all surrounding universes."
"Yeah, this does seem like a poor move, even for you."
Latukas howls with laughter.
"Did you not hear me Blue? I know ALL your moves. And you... Space Demon."
"I AM NOT A DEMON."
"WHO THE FUCK CARES. If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead already. Or are you afraid you might lose? Are you afraid I might take over... Pathetic."
"I'll get to you later. I'm not even here to begin with, this is just an illusion."
"Yeah, run away, space demon, or whatever cringe persona you are."
You then come to the realization that Fred Fucks has been trying to talk over everyone and get your attention for the past 5 mins.
"How about you two fuck off so I can do my job? I've got IBS, I gotta take a dump soon and you're holding me up!"
"I'll deal with Blue. You can do whatever you want to these guys. Not like they're going to achieve anything."
"I'm in control of this simulation now. Everything here is pure is code, and it's what I understand best. This is my world, my battle. You are once again the Interloper, Latukas. You always have been, no matter where you go, isn't that right? You have no home. You have no friends. You are nothing. But you won't spread that nothingness any more!"
"Aw man, what is this? A heroic speech? Some battle music you picked out yourself? You never told me why you made the Amalgamation project. Is this it? Do you enjoy playing ther hero? Does it make you feel better? Hah. Making an entire universe just to play the hero. Doesn't sound too heroic to me! At least I know what I am. I don't see a point in playing the hero anymore. I'm just doing what's best for everyone. Existence. That's suffering. That's horror. The only way to escape is to end all of it. Forever. No more coming back after death. No more creation. God. You must have created billions of lives. Maybe more. Only for them to spend their entire existence suffering, in horrific, unconscionable agony, dying and being reborn to suffer and die over and over. You are the worst scum I could ever fucking imagine Blue. So you're lucky I actually care about stopping suffering. Because I promise you, once you die, you'll never come back."
Latukas spends 500FP on Temporal Shift, attempting to pull the entire battle into a different time!
... But this reality is no longer compatible with time travel.
"Shit. I see what you're doing. You're manipulating the simulation from outside of this universe, so I can't predict what's changing. You think that's going to be enough, Blue? You think time travel is my only trick?"
"Enough talk, kid."
Blue uses Logarithmic Factorial! Latukas is blasted with an uncountable beam of raw data for (7000) damage. The room starts to shake and shimmer from the strain of the attack.
Latukas smirks and uses Medigothoron! Blue is blasted with absolute disintegrating lightning... But in this reality, he is invincible.
Blue uses Garbage Collection! Latukas' data is slated for recycling, beginning his de-resolution... But Fred Fucks cancels the command using his console!
"Almost forgot that waste of space was here. Get the fuck out."
Blue kicks Fred Fucks out of the AR Zone.
Latukas uses Imperium! A column of almighty light appears beneath Blue and suddenly blasts upwards into the infinite! Blue takes (0) damage! Blue is blinded by the light as Latukas channels the attack!
Blue is blinded! "Think I need to see you to kill you? I'll just wipe this entire facility to the ground."
Blue uses Divide by Zero! The entire facility starts shaking, and you can hear sirens in the distance. Blue is creating an explosion of infinite energy! Blue's explosion breaks past Imperium! The shaking grows to earthquake magnitude! Blue's explosion is finally unleashed!
Everything suddenly glitches out and freezes, then slowly fades away...
The Pyramid Facility is in absolute flames and chaos. All of the machinery has exploded, sparks are flying everywhere, glass is shattered and smoke is pouring from every exit. Blue's abuse of the system's limited processing power has utterly destroyed the entire facility and all of the reality-generating equipment within. Blue still stands there, de-powered in his current state, and Latukas simply takes out his sword, floats to Blue as he tries to reorient himself and plan his escape, and slices his head clean off.
"Alright Fucks, you deal with these guys. I'm out of here. Now the facility is offline, I've lost my army, so I have shit to deal with."
"How the fuck am I supposed to fight them without my simulation?!?"
"I dunno, use the backup power suits or something. Now this facility is down, I don't really care what you do. Bye."