Warning: this thread contains large pics and bad sense of humor.
Spaghetti with tomato sauce, meat and provola
Hello everyone! Welcome in another episode of Cooking Waka, where your favourite
hack mod ex staff normal user
music mod will teach you to cook like a true spaghettaro would do!
Speaking of spaghetti, one day, one of my friends said he's really afraid of making spaghetti. What triggered me is that HE PREFERS BUYING STUFF WHICH IS READY AND THAT YOU JUST HEAT IN THE MICROWAVE OVEN! THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :aaaa:
Friend which I forgot the name, this is for you! Today, we're gonna see how to make a succesful dish of lovely spaghetti come farebbe un vero italiano mamma mia!
The ingredients are:
- A sunset;
- A provola (much better if it's "affumicata", simple mozzarella can go too);
- A weight scale;
- 80gr of spaghetti n°5;
- A screwdriver;
- Three metal pots thingies you use to cook stuff;
- Good enough sex skills;
- Soap to wash dishes;
- A glass;
- A dish;
- Some water;
- Fork() method;
- Super Mario Bros. 3
LET'S GET STARTED SHALL WE?
First, we'll grab our water with our hands, and put it inside one metal pot.
Start the fire under it, we want the water to boil, like in SMW's animated surface lava tile.
Meanwhile, let's take another metal pot, and let's pray God for giving us some ragù. If you believe, you should get something like this:
Don't start the fire yet! We'll play with this later.
While we wait for the water to boil, we need to cut our provola. To get inspiration, look your sunset.
You can feel your heart filling with mozzarella. After you stare for atleast 1 hour, you can go ahead, grab your provola, then kindly ask Wolverine to cut the provola:
You don't need to cut the whole provola, but it all depends on its size. Don't overdo it. You can save what it's uncutted for another future Cooking Waka recipe!
Also, it's not over yet! This is lunch time, not breakfast, you won't want to eat a dish full of milk with spaghetti. That's disgusting.
To prevent this, imagine you got last place in VLDCX, grab your pieces of provola, and squeeze them hard like this:
If you imagine hard enough, preferibly while crying and swearing, all the excess milk from the provola will come out, and it'll be dry. Remember! If your dish requires dry cheese and you're going with milky things like
mozzarella or provola, this is a very important step to make your final dish tasty and cute rather than a pool of milk.
Before continuing, let's take a little break!
- AD TIME -
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- AD TIME END -
Here's Cooking Waka! Welcome back in my kitchen!
Now then, after we squeezed our provola, let's check out the boiling water:
Omg, it became animated lava surface. Don't touch it or you'll lose a life, unless you somehow disabled that with an hex edit.
Now, grab your spaghetti n°5, and weight them:
I personally suggest 70-80gr per person. In my case, I'm alone and sad, so I'm weighting 80gr:
IMPORTANT THING THAT MAKES ME TRIGGER: DON'T CUT YOUR SPAGHETTI IN HALF! That's like putting pineapple on pizza. Each spaghetto cutted, one italian loses a life.
So ye! You have 80gr of spaghetti, now put them in your animated lava tiles:
Now, if you're good enough with sex, you must engage on your spaghetti. Start talking them about your interests, get deeper in the relationship, kiss them lewdly, and finally, ask them to bend for you like this:
Watch out, spaghetti are shy. Be gentle with them, you don't want TO CUT THEM AND TRIGGER ME, DO YOU?
Finally, have your "lights out" with them. Aftersex, they should look like this:
It's important to show the middle finger. Spaghetti may be shy, but when they get wet like that, they love to go rough.
In case you're wondering, yes, this is the "love in cooking" we italians are famous for.
While our spaghetti are cooking, we must craft a special metal pot!
Grab your screwdriver:
Then grab the metal pot that's left in our ingredients, and start stabbing it wildly.
Your final result should be something like this:
Going creative with the stabbing to create a pattern with the holes which looks nice is optional.
Let's take another break before continuing!
- AD TIME -
A GENERIC DAY ON IRC
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<User A> This game is awesome!
<User B> Yeah but what about your exams? You're playing this nonstop.
<User A> I left university.
<User B> Ah...
- AD END -
Here's Cooking Waka! Welcome back in my kitchen! Let's resume shall we??
After we crafted our special pot, show that you care for your spaghetti. Use a fork() to split yourself, and ask the other one of yourself to get a fork (the tool we use in kitchen).
Turn your spaghetti frequently enough, like this:
This will prevent 2 things:
- White soap won't overflow the pot;
- Your spaghetti won't get attached to your pot's base.
They also adore if you put this music
Check your spaghetti's curves. If they're sexy enough, it means that they are almost ready for you:
This result in the pic is sign that they're almost ready!
Remember the pot with tomato sauce and ham?
It's time to turn it on (;3), low fire.
Then, quickly go trough SMB3's first world, clear the castle so that the first Koopaling can give you a spoon.
Use the spoon to turn the sauce around, so that we prevent it from burning.
While both our spaghetti and sauce are finishing their moment in heat, we can perpare our table, where we'll consume our lovely spaghetti.
Here's how I usually prepare mine:
Simply placing your dish, glass and your favourite dish soap.
Now, our spaghetti and sauce are ready!
Grab the pot with the spaghetti, and put them in our special pot we crafted before:
Shake the special pot, so that water flows out from your spaghetti. The more you shake, the better it'll be!
After you shaked enough, put them back in the first pot:
Add 60%-70% of your sauce in it, using SMB3's spoon:
Put them on the dish!
Put the rest of the sauce on top of it, together with the cutted provola!
TA-DAAAAH! SPAGHETTI WITH TOMATO SAUCE, HAM AND PROVOLA!
As you can see, it's very easy to make them! No more "I'll buy already made stuff and heat", make your own spaghetti!
Not to mention, there are a billion variants of spaghetti. It all depends on what you add in them after you cooked them.
From Wakana and my kitchen it's all, see you in the next episode of Cooking Waka!