I don't want to get too nitpicky on the composition itself as that's a question of personal taste, but this port's mixing, instrumentation, and optimization could be better.
First, the choice of instruments isn't the best, in my opinion, as @7,
@9, and especially @17, are instruments that aren't super versatile, and often end up sticking out very loudly, or sounding a little obnoxious. I'd rethink what instruments you're using for these sections in particular, but for the song as a whole as well. The @4, for example, could work with some touch-ups or ADSR, but it sounds a little rough currently. The @9 section could also use either $F4 $02 or $F4 $01, though the latter would require a different sample since @9 cuts out immediately with it. Overall, I realize you haven't used any ADSR, which can greatly increase the versatility of instruments, so I'd suggest looking into that as well.
Second, this follows from the first point, but a lot of channels could stand to be quieter; I don't want to comment too much on this currently because the ideal volumes will depend on the samples you end up using. As well, the song could sound fuller with panning, but especially with echo, which could make the song sound fuller and softer. Since you've got an empty channel, you could play around with fake echo as well, by copying one channel onto it and playing around with the volume, instrument, or adding a little delay. Finally, one small thing that's slightly unrelated, but putting the percussion on channel #6 around 0:20 when nothing else is playing is not a great idea, since sound effects will make it cut out, and it'll be especially noticeable because nothing else is playing.
Third, optimization could be better, since there are a lot of patterns that could be repeated that aren't, notably on channel #4. As well, almost every other loop appears more than once, in which case you can use label loops to call them back more efficiently. For example, [l4 e r2. f r2. g r2. g r f r e r2. e r2. e r d r]2
r1^1 @14 <<
/[l4 e r2. f r2. g r2. g r f r e r2. e r2. e r d r]2
is more efficiently looped as (1)[l4 e r2. f r2. g r2. g r f r e r2. e r2. e r d r]2
r1^1 @14 <<
As well, some of your loops can be condensed further. For example, rest loops like [r1 r1]69 are better off when condensed into one note, specifically r2, instead of putting two r1 in a row and halving the number of loops. Or, loops like [l8 c r c r c r c r]7 have unnecessary "cr"s that just take up more space. [l8 cr]28 is more efficient.
Fourth, your submission doesn't have an #SPC tag with the song name and other information; make sure to include these!
Finally, the ";" command doesn't end up taking more space, but it's preferable not to go over-the-top when writing text in there, especially if it's not informative.
If you want to know more about label loops, echo, or ADSR, I'd recommend checking out Wakana's tutorial or the AddmusicK readme.